I once had an emo friend doing a course for the marines. He made the cut.
Hes Jokes
Why was Jesus Christ cut from the hockey team?
He kept getting nailed to the boards.
Why did Nicholas Cage and Angelina Jolie attend Paul Walker’s funeral?
He went from "The Fast and the Furious" to "Gone in 60 Seconds."
A man goes to a motel room and sees a woman tied up and she said, "Help me please!" He had to do some forceful thinking.
Why wasn't Michael Jackson admitted to college? He refused to declare a major; he only wanted to do minors.
Little Johnny was at home and then he went to his grandma's house. He went there to cuss so he wouldn't get in trouble, and secretly, Grandma called his momma to come pick him up.
Momma asked what Little Johnny did, and she said he cussed and cussed and cussed. Granny had enough and called Mom again. Momma said Little Johnny was grounded for 2 weeks, and Little Johnny cussed some more. Now he grounded for 3 weeks.
My friend was on a wheelchair... he committed suicide yesterday. I remember when I met him last time, he told us a good joke and I appreciated him and told him to become a stand-up comedian.
Jesus is fake,
He hides from himself.
What is hell to you?
Jesus!!!!!
He is everywhere taking our time and energy and our lives for his entertainment.
But Judgment Day is his eternal hell!
And our Eternal Heaven!!
Jesus stinks so bad he killed all living things in Heaven.
Jesus is what he eats!
Shit!
What did the baby cow say to the mommy cow when he saw a hamburger?
"Mommy, is that Uncle Joe?"
Some weird kid came into school today with his tagging gun. He tagged my friend really good. At the end, he tagged 12 students and 1 teacher. VICTORY ROAYAL ✌
What is the fastest thing in the world?
James Charles when he sees little boys.
How did Mace Windu die?
He fell out the windoo.
Why did the autistic kid walk across a busy road?
He was chasing his mind and got hit by a car.
What did the koala do when he was too educated?
He ran away from koalapidia.
Why did Michael Jackson rush to Walmart?
He heard boys' pants were half off!
Oh no, I feel bad for Stephen Hawking. He can’t get up the stairway to Heaven.
Ok, here's a story about the church.
There were two parents, then they had a baby. Then they go to the church and the baby was getting a cross on his forehead. Guess he was big headed. Sorry if this offends anyone or makes this joke bad since I keep writing this.
