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Hes jokes

Joe Biden walks into the White House kitchen.

"Are those brownies I smell?" he asks.

"Indeed, they are," he was told.

"Gee," he says, "they smell nothing like Girl Scouts!"

My best friend got ligma. (Ah, did he? Sorry bro.) LIGMA BALLS!

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    • A husband came back from a business trip and found out that his wife was pregnant. At first, he got a bit suspicious, but then he just ignored it and hugged his wife with happiness. The second when he met his friend and told him the news, the friend just said, "Wait, what? I thought she was on pills!"

    Russian Santa Claus- You better watch out, You better not cry, cause if you do I will stab your fucking eye, Russian Santa Claus does not fuck around. He's making a list, He's checking it twice... You better leave out some Vodka with ice!

    I was walking down Main Street when I saw a child.

    I told him, "I will give you 20$ if you get my balls back from the vet."

    He replied, "Why did they take your balls sir?"

    "Beer plus going to the vet does not work well for everybody, especially when you're a furry."

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    • I saw an orphan and I said, "Yo."

    He said, "What do you want?"

    I said, "To be your new father."

    "Really??!" the orphan said.

    Me: Lol, no.

    Orphan *Jumps into street*

    A guy starts texting a cute girl and asks her to give him her phone number so he can call her. The girl says, "OK, but you have to transfer mobile balance to my number. Then I am gonna be your girlfriend and will meet you somewhere." He transfers her the balance and calls her, but it turns out the girl was actually a guy making him a fool. He blocked him.

    The next day, he was very angry about himself being a fool, so he thought he'd do the same. He makes a fake girl account and starts texting with some random guy, and then he asks that guy to send him balance. Suddenly, his father came into his bedroom and asked, "Son, can you send me some balance? I am gonna send you cash after sometime." That guy looks at his father with suspicious eyes, and then he calls that random number. Suddenly his father's phone starts ringing......

    10 years ago my dad said I should eat cereal with water until he comes back with the milk... I still eat cereal with water, sadly.

    Does an orphanage have daddy issues?

    Yes, because he didn't come back from getting the milk.

    If you give Kobe Bryant a cigarette, he will be warm for a short time.

    But he was set on fire in the helicopter crash, so now he's warm for the rest of his life.

    If you give a man a match, he is warm for the night, but if you light a man on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life. :)

    So I was being robbed, and this guy had the gun to my head, so I told him he was holding it backwards.

    What would the main character from Martin Scorsese's Taxi Driver be named if he was a Mexican?

    Travis Spick-le.

    Girl: Hi (flirt)

    Boy: Hi? (reluctant)

    Girl: I'm a cheerleader captain, I'm also single (flirt).

    Boy 2: Excuse me?! He's MY MAN...

    If all the class are straight but you think that someone is hiding that he's gay, you're an investiGAYtor.