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Hes jokes

A policeman found a dead body of a man on the street. He thought he recognized the body and the 2 friends he usually hung out with, so he called in one of the friends.

The friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "Yep, that's definitely Joe," but then, to be absolutely sure, he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants, and said, "Oh no, wait, that's not Joe." The policeman called in the 2nd friend. The 2nd friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "Yep, that's definitely Joe," but then, to be absolutely sure, he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants, and said, "Oh no, wait, that's not Joe." Confused, the policeman asked, "How is it that when you look into his face you're sure he is your friend, but when you look at his ass you're sure he is not?"

The 1st friend said, "Well, you see, Joe has 2 assholes." "Are you serious?" the policeman asked. "Oh yes," he replied, "we've never actually seen them, but when the 3 of us hang out together people point and say, 'Hey, there's Joe with those 2 assholes.'"

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    • The cashier kicked me out because when he asked for 99 cents, I gave him 99 scents.

    Penaldo song 🎡🎡🎡

    He has conquered all the Farmers. He is never going to stop. From Lithuania down to Andorra, He has scored a fucking lot. Penalties and Tapins, The Fields of Faroe Islands, He is our GOAT, And his name is Cristiano Columbus. Allez, Allez, Allez Allez, Allez, Allez

    There was a magician on board the Titanic and said that he could make anything disappear.

    Once the ship had gone down one of the passengers said to him, "Go on, so what did you do with the ship then?"

    I was in math class, and we were learning geometry. My teacher said, "PENTAGON!" then all of a sudden, PENALDO burst into the room! He thought we were talking about PENS, so he came looking for some because he's a finished pen merchant! Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my education! 🀬

    Two friends are arguing and one friend says, "Jason Warhis is not afraid of water and not ifs, ands, or buts about it."

    And the other friend says, "Butt he is."

    "Sir, I'm afraid your son can't attend our swimming lessons anymore."

    "Why not?"

    "He keeps peeing in the pool."

    "Well, all kids pee in the pool."

    "Not from the diving board!"

    A cock really has a sad life. He's hairs a mess, his neighbor's an arsehole, his best friend is a cunt.

    I told my dad I was self harming. The next day we talked about it and he said, "Hey you should CUT it out." It was funny but I couldn't bring myself to laugh at that.

    I was in an argument with a "friend" at school. He said, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."

    ...so I threw a dictionary at him.

    I have a friend who doesn't have a dad.

    He says: "You're useless, go to hell!"

    Me: "Wait, why do you want me to join your dad?"

    When you're fighting with the emo kid and he brings his friends. Now you gotta fight the suicide squad.

    Why did the emo kid get kicked out of the amusement park?

    He kept cutting in line.