Hes jokes
A guy starts chatting to a pretty woman at a party.
Seeing that she didn't back off, he asked her name. "Carmen," she replied. "That's a nice name," he said, warming up the conversation. "Who named you, your mother?"
"No, I named myself," she answered.
"Oh, that's interesting. Why Carmen?"
"Because I like cars, and I like men," she said, looking directly into his eyes. "So what's your name?" she asked.
‘BJ Titsngolf’
What happens at the orphanage be like:
The orphans: “HE IS THE MESSIAH!”
I love my grandpa, he killed Hitler.
Hey, look, it's that "TRAINS gender" guy. He says, "I like trains." Uh oh!
What's the difference between my ass and the toddlers in my uncle's basement?
My ass doesn't cry when he sticks it in late at night.
I’m a cashier at a grocery store, and when I’m bored, I draw on my hands with a pen. Well, this guy walks up to me and says, “You know, I got mental illnesses from drawing on myself.”
And so, without thinking, I said, “Well, I’ve already got those, so I think I’m fine...” 😳 He looked concerned. Oops lol.
Did you hear the one about the Polish elevator operator? He was fired because he couldn't learn the route.
When an orphan is playing baseball, how come the coach doesn't tell them to hit it home?
He has no home to hit to.
I asked an orphan where his mom was. He started crying, so I said it again.
And well, that was my last day at the orphanage.
I walk up to a kid. I ask where his parents are, and he started crying. Then I walked out of the orphanage.
Joe Biden was once president, but he got arrested because he got caught fingering a minor.
What does Sonic say when he's bored?
Punch an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?
Why did the orphan become a criminal?
Because he wanted to actually be wanted.
My dad died in 9/11... He was the best pilot I know.
They say there's a person capable of murder in every friend group.
I suspected that it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.
My grief counselor died the other day.
He was so good at his job, I don't even care.
My dad died in 9/11....
He was a good driver.
Why did Tigger look in the toilet?
He was looking for "poo."
Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.
Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.
Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.
Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.
One day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy, then they heard a sound from the bushes. Instead of looking down, they both ran.
Two years later, they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial. They asked him if he has ever been caught. He said, "No, but a couple was walking as soon as I killed a girl. I jumped into a bush. They didn't know I was there, but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down, then he and his girlfriend ran."