Did you hear about the cheetah who robbed a bank? He ran away so fast he almost got away with it, but he was spotted.
Hes Jokes
A guy stuffed some cigarettes up his eyes thinking it would make him see colors.
The next day, he could see only one color... black.
Why does that kid have to stay in that orphanage?
He should just go to his mom and dad!
"Hey, kid, why are you so fat?"
"Why did you insult him? That's not nice."
"It won't matter, he's deaf."
What’s a lung’s favorite type of exercise?
Breathing exercises.
I told this to my English teacher, and he said it to the class, and no one laughed. Someone help!
Why is a brick always hard? Because he seen the brick that was getting laid right next to him.
What do you call a war dodo named Bob in WW2 and he came from Mars?
Bruno Mars.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
He thought he saw his parents.
Oasis, am I right?
When a kid says, "I'm a pedophile," it means that he has a crush on one of his classmates.
When an adult says it, he is accused as a rapper.
The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not your dad."
Then he says, "What comes after 47?"
The quiet kid says, "AK."
Did Jesus die a virgin?
No... He got nailed! 😅
Yo mama so black, when God saw her, he said, "Let there be light!" but twice.
Did you hear the one about the Polish elevator operator?
He was fired from his job because he couldn’t learn the route.
If the captain of the Titanic was dumb, he would eat the iceberg.
A 7-foot-tall man walks into a restaurant with his 4-foot-tall girlfriend, and the maitre d' says to the waiter, “He must be nuts over her.”
Do you know why Santa's sack is so big? He only comes once a year.
There was once a Spanish magician. He said, "Uno, dos..." and he disappeared without a tres.
Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while he was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.
They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.
A guy does not know anything. Oh, wait, he has dementia.
A man bought steroids from Amazon.com... He was expecting a big package to come!
