Hes jokes
My brother thinks he's cool when he just SMELLS.
Have you heard about the pedophile who was found guilty of robbery?
- He robbed children of their innocence.
Why did the duck get arrested?
He tried to quack a safe.
There is this celebrity everybody thought was so down to earth. That was until he hung himself.
Why did Wilson die? Cuz he sucks!
I went to my girlfriend's house one day in Alabama when I met her brother. He said, "Well, I guess there's no more you stuck in the dryer."
Why did the old man win in a fight? Because he was stressed.
What does a man with 20 children do now?
Now he eats sausages even with cellophane.
Your mama so white that her first number was 911.
Why was 10 afraid? Because he was 'tween 9 and 11.
You're so small that when you go to the doctor, he doesn’t know you're there.
Once there was a man. A man who had a butt.
Once he was at this job interview and he was going to get the job, but just before the boss was going to hire him, he farted. It was a really bad one. It was 47 minutes long and so loud the windows rattled. When it was over, the man screamed and jumped out the window.
He didn't get the job.
How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If you woodchuck on the world with that, you have a really deep in, and he says goodbye. When he says goodbye, you're like, "if you."
If there was a girl and a boy and the boy fell, what did the boy do to the girl?
He fell for her.
Why did the lil kid cut himself?
Answer: Because he was emo, HAHHHAHAHAHAAHHA!
Listen, Man United might not thank me but get the contract out, put it on the table. Let him sign it, let him write whatever numbers he wants to put on there, given what he's done since he's come in. Ole's at the wheel, man. He's doing it. He's doing his thing. Man United are BACK.
Why can't the orphan play baseball?
Because he does not know where home is.
Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
He was out-standing.
What did the mom tell her son when he asked for a bowl of cereal? "Sorry your dad wasn't came back with the milk yet."
Roses are red, pussies are wet, when it goes in he gets upset. She said it's too small, so that's all. But later that day, he wanted to say, "Every time I play, no one complains, so she was just lying." She started flying, went out of her seat, the skirt went up, the greatest of them all. Everyone said, "Fly away big chunky balls."