Hes jokes
"So I asked a genie if he could grant me this wish. I wished to be like Michael Jackson. The next day, I was in a playground full of little kids."
Someone threatened to break into my house, but I am in a wheelchair. I said sure, and I moved everything upstairs and sat on the stairs so he couldn’t steal anything.
Please folks, you can hit the thumbs up button on the ones you like. There is no need to repost.
Anyways,
Knock knock Who's there? Can I come in? Can I come in who? Can I Come In You!?
More often than not, I will cry when I masturbate. Some nights I'm a real tear jerker!
But on the nights and I smoke a lil pot and then masturbate, my dad ends up bugging me because I am a weed wacker.
How do you keep a dog from humping your leg? Pick him up and suck his dick.
How does Popeye keep his manly part from rusting? He sticks it in Olive Oil.
Snow White and the seven dwarfs are in the the tub feeling "HAPPY". Happy got out now they are fucking "GRUMPY".
What's worse than waking up and finding a "Penis" drawn on your forehead? Finding out it was "Traced".
If I had a rooster and you had a donkey and your donkey ate my rooster what would you have? 3 feet of my cock up your ass.
Did you know Batman was actually Black? Yeah he couldn't go a night with out Robyn!
Did you hear Gods Word Of The Day? Its Legs! Now lets go out and spread them.
What do you call a Mexican woman with no legs? Cunt-sway-low
Whats worse than sucking 25 oysters out of your Grandmas Pussy? Realizing you only put in 15.
A man has been dating a girl forever. He finally says, "I love you." The girl says, "Aww, thanks." The man looks at her, "Are you not gonna say it back?" The girl says, "No, I can’t."
My grandpa kept warning the people on the Titanic that the boat was going to sink. Result: he got kicked out of the movie theater.
You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father's son and your father's father, you're your own grandpa!
Friend: Did Jesus die a virgin?
Me: Of course not, he got nailed before he died.
What did Jamie do after the sucky sucky?
He gagged!
If you have a bad day, go tell an orphan to find his parents. He will be searching all day.
Q: What happens to KID who NAPs near a stranger?
A: He gets KID-NAPPED (kidnapped).
What is an emo kid's favorite song?
"Chain Hang Low" because he hangs low off a chain tied to a tree.
Why couldn’t the principal call the orphan's parents?
Because he doesn’t have any.
How's George Floyd doing these days? Being drug-free for a year, he must be feeling pretty swell.
I gave my blind friend a piece of sandpaper. He said it was the most gruesome book ever.
I offered to share a meal with a homeless person once, but he said, "Piss off and buy your own!"
You never think of how people will react to an event. My friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.
Shorkey will find you in bed tonight, and he will eat you like my joke or else...
What did the captain of the Titanic do before the Titanic sunk?
He nominated everyone for the ice bucket awards.
A guy is at his locker, and a girl comes and says, "Hey, I love you."
He says, "Okay, cool." She then replies and says, "Well, what do you think about our love?" He says, "Count the stars."
Then she says, "Oh, infinity!" and he replies with, "Nope, it's just a waste of time."
Hitler is amazing; he's dead but still alive because he did Nazi death coming. It never happened.