Why is Donald Trump under so much stress?
Because he signed up to be on an album where somebody says "no love for the rich" on it.
Hes Jokes
So, there's Fred and Frank. Now, they've been friends for years, but Fred, see, he's depressed. Badly.
Either way, so F+F are texting each other, and here's how it goes: (this is my first joke, so please don't judge too harshly)
Frank: Yo
Fred: Hi...
Frank: U heard about de competition?
Fred: Yeah...
Frank: You wanna hang out?
Fred: .......
Frank: What? I've got some noose (news) for you.
Fred: ...I(
Frank: Fine.... I guess we need to think of a plan, though. We don't wanna be hanging on the end.
Fred: *sigh* You know....you really can't rope me into this competition.
A boy named Jimmy was riding to Hell to save his brothers and sister. That is the last place he pissed. There came across the Devil.
Part 1
My dad died in 9/11. He was a Muslim pilot.
Why did the priest go to the clothing sale at Walmart?
He heard that little boy's pants were half off.
Q: Why can't the orphan buy Robux?
A: He could not use his mother's credit card.
All these jokes are plane wrong. My uncle died in 9/11. At least he died doing what he loved, flying planes.
Thomas Montgomery would eat his fillet of fish in bed every night. He had fillet of fish bedding and everything. His roommates always asked him, "Why are you eating your fillet of fish in bed?" He wouldn't reply.
His family took him to the best psychologist in the field. Thomas continued emptying his bank account on fillet of fish to eat in bed. His friend said one day, took a picture of Thomas and told him to say cheese. They laughed and went there separate ways. Then in bed that night, Thomas kept on thinking to himself, "I never said cheese before someone snapped my picture." He repeated it again. The next day he thanked his friend, "Fillet in him feel better."
Why can't the skeleton go to the dance?
Because he has "no body" to go with!
Why does the Flash eat ostriches? Because he likes fast food.
Q. Why was the orphan unable to use the phone?
A. He was trying to phone home.
Kobe Bryant never missed a shot.
But he nailed that mountain.
Why couldn't the Orphan play baseball?
Because he couldn't find home!
When the C.I.A. raided Osama Bin Laden’s house, they found Steam on his computer. This means he was a gamer. He raged a little too hard and went for New York.
You go up to a bar and say, "Hi." He doesn’t look at you. You keep saying, "Hi." He says, "What?" Then you realize that he is the one that you stole his lady from, but then he doesn’t give you any drink. You say, "Why?" He screams at you and then says, "YOU'RE FIVE!"
A kid goes to bed with his dad because he’s scared of the dark. Turns out he just wanted to have sex.
I'm so proud of my grandpa, he killed Hitler. WAIT-
God, aka Mr. Universe said he was God's gift to this earth, but where is he?
I was speaking to a deaf Asian man. I said, "Hi." He said, "Wha yiu sa?"
"You did great!"
"Come here and get your prize, a shiny quarter!"
"Nah, that's okay."
"Here's the quarterback."
"You don't want the quarter?"
"No! Quarterback!"
"Huh?"
(Crashes) (screams)
"Yo, sorry 'bout that."
"You think he's gonna be mad?"
"Who? Baldi?"
"Nah, he doesn't have a HAIR in the world!"
(Annoying Orange laughs) (Baldi groans)
