Hes

Hes jokes

What do I think about the Kennedy assassination?

First of all, he should have had a roof on that car.

Do you ever wonder why Michael from Halloween likes his mask so much? It's because he ad-Myers it.

I can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere. I think you two would be really good friends.

How do you find out if your kid is gay?

Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.

I was making fun of an orphan, then I realized he tracked me down. I made a bad decision. He was Batman!

Dam, sometimes when I look at my friend's head, I say, "Dam, that's a dam big head, Nick." Then he is like, "Dude, that's a literal dam."

I think democracy is a scam. I love men and I love you. I love men and I love you. I love my dog. He won't sleep inside and I shitted my pants. I peed my pants. I smell bad. I took a shower and my dog was like, "Oh my god." I was like, "Oh." I was like, "Oh my god," and then I was like, "I shitted again" and he was like, "Bark bark," cause he's a dog. Thanks for listening.

Little Johnny went on a camping trip. All the tents were taken, so he shared with the teacher. So Little Johnny says: "Can I play with your bellybutton? My mom always lets me when we camp." So the teacher says: "Sure." 5 minutes later the teacher says: "Woah, woah, woah that's not my bellybutton!" Little Johnny says: "Woah, woah, woah, that's not my finger."

I’m back and have a joke my friend said!

Person 1: My brother's Halloween costume is so ugly.

Person 2: What was it?

Person 1: He went as himself.

An orphan and a homeless man get into a fight, so he yells in a mirror.

Q: Why did the emo kid get jealous on Xmas?

A: He saw the ornaments hanging.