I saw one kid in a game. He went, "I love you, tree!" He was dumb as cant tell, sorry.
I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said, "Go look in a mirror." I said, "Thank you."
Dad: Are you gay?
Kid: Yes.
10 days later.
Kid: I’m going to my girlfriend's house.
Dad: I thought you were gay?
Kid: What’s wrong with you? He’s the girly girl of our relationship, dumba**.
Dad: Don’t swear and okay, bud.
A homeless kid walked up to another kid and said, "I have what you don't." He said, "(Parents)."
And the kid said, "Your right, I do have parents," and walked away.
Where did JFK go in his car? I am not sure of his intentional destination, but he did go everywhere.
I told a diabetic boy to have sweet dreams, and he died the next morning.
I beat up a deaf kid the other day. I had to. He kept throwing up gang signs.
Why didn't the dog want to play football??
'Cause he was a boxer!
I asked this kid for a high five, but he could not reach my hand.
Say what you want about Paul Walker, but he was a smart guy.
You can tell by the quantity of brain matter on his dashboard.
I dated an orphan and then later married him for 7 years until he told me he was an orphan.
My BFF asked me: "You know why it took Carlos 3 days to move on?"
I said: "Why?"
My BFF says: "Well, it's because he was already cheating!"
I said: "KNEW IT!"
Little Johnny said he wanted a coffee, so his mom said he can have one.
He got an espresso, not knowing "depresso" came with it.
Little Johnny went up to his mom and said: "Can I have some milk?"
He waited for three hours to get an answer.
His mom finally said: "No, your dad still isn't back with it."
I was at a farm in France called ‘Uber eats Farmer league’, then I saw a strange creature called ‘Pessi’. He only appears against farmers.
He ran towards to me, I didn’t know what I should do so I decided to shout “Big games! Big games!“ Pessi scurried away.
I was in the Sahara Desert, dying of thirst. Thankfully, Pionel Pessi, the debut man, came to my rescue👨🚒. He brought in 100's of helicopters filled with bottles to quench my thirst. I asked him how he had so many bottles; "big games," he replied. Thanks for saving my life, my idol.
The cycle of Pionel Pessi:
- Ghosting👻
- Diving🐬
- Complaining to teammates😡
- Complaining to refs🤬
- Missing sitters🤦♂️
- Gets a lucky open net tapin⚽️
- Proceed to get 🐐 shouts
- Repeat🔁
People with REAL ball knowledge know he’s just an overrated tapin merchant 😭
I told my husband he should embrace his mistakes.
He hugged me!
So, a husband and a wife have three kids. The husband is on his death bed, and he looks up at his wife and says, "Honey, is our youngest son truly and honestly mine?" She says in response, "I swear on everything that is good and holy, our youngest son is yours." He dies peacefully.
Then she says under her breath, "I'm glad he didn't ask about the first two."
I saw a kid on the side of the road covered in rags and asked if he was an orphan. He said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
