why does the orphan go to church? he needs someone to call father.
My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog š, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.
High school crush: Why do you always look so sad?
Me: My mom is dead, and my favorite grandma, and my uncle killed both of them, and now he's in jail.
High school crush: Shit. Sorry about that.
Me: And my crush hasn't asked me out.
High school crush: Who is it?
Me: You.
Him: Goodbye (as he runs away and never comes back)
Me: Fuck that.
What did the soldier say when he saw a terrorist in a wheelchair?
"An RC-XD!"
A man goes to a doctor and says he's having problems shitting, so the doctor gives him an enema and says he needs to do it a few times at home, but does the first one for him. So the guy bends over the table, lubes him up, and shoves it deep in him, and he yells.
So later, the man goes home and tells his wife he needs her help with the enema. So he bends over, she lubes him up, puts a hand on his shoulder, and she shoves it up there, and he starts screaming and cussing, and the wife asks, "Did I hurt you?" He said, "No, I just realized when the doctor did it, he had both hands on my shoulders."
A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"
She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"
He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."
Your mama is so funny looking that when the doctor called her, he said, "Never visit me again. I hope you die!"
I was telling the emo kid emo jokes, and I couldnāt read them because I was laughing too hard. I almost cut the emo kid. He wasnāt laughing at the jokes.
Went to the doctor, told him I've been having dreams, first about a wigwam, then about a teepee. He said I was too tense.
Why did the Roman not eat BBQ chicken?
Because he "wasn't a veggatarian."
Why do orphans hate Ted Bundy? Cause he's the most wanted.
Why can't an emo person be in charge of sky diving?
He won't deploy the parachute.
Don't be racist! BE LIKE MARIO!
He's an Italian plumber, created by the Japanese, who speaks English, and looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew.
I never knew the kid at school had autism. I always just thought he was walking into cobwebs.
I got a roommate. He killed a butterfly, and I said no butter for a week. The next day, he killed a cockroach. Son of a bitch, nice try.
Jesus canāt judge gay people, because he got nailed before he died
Why did the male orphan decide to be gay?
Because he wanted someone to call "daddy."
Todoroki POV: All he can think about is Deku.
What do you call James Bond when heās taking a bath?
Bubble 07
Why canāt Santa have kids
He only cums once a year
