An orphan thinks he finally sees his mom, but then he realizes it's air.
Hes Jokes
That awkward moment when you thought the guy was a pretty good magician, and only then realize he simply suffers from leprosy.
A kid calls out for his mom one day while he is in the tub and says, "Mom come quick! I'm walking on water!"
And the mom runs in and says, "I knew evon whatent yo daddy! I ain't never slept with him a day my life!"
Random Kid: Aye man where was Kobe flying to?
Launch Site: Umm, he might have gone too close to here, sorry if he might have crashed...
Hey, did you hear about the kidnapping?
"No."
Yeah, but then he woke up.
So I went to a church and I asked a friend, "Is the picture on the wall Jesus, and does it have three nails or one nail?" Oh wait, that's not Jesus, he is not doing the T pose that he invited.
Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.
He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"
She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."
Why did the orphan kill itself?
Because he's depressed about no family.
Why do orphans hate Batman the movie?
Because at least he gets noticed by people, and also he stole their life story!
Why can't Hitler join track?
Because he can't even finish a race.
Little Johnny walked into his house. He heard a banging sound from up above and decided to investigate. He opened the door to his parents' room and saw his naked mom and the woman next door. He thought they were wrestling and decided to join in.
There was this boy. He had diarrhea, and he kept asking to go to the bathroom, but the teacher said no. Next thing you know, he pooped himself in front of the class.
Why does the orphan go to church? He needs someone to call father.
My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog 🐕, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.
High school crush: Why do you always look so sad?
Me: My mom is dead, and my favorite grandma, and my uncle killed both of them, and now he's in jail.
High school crush: Shit. Sorry about that.
Me: And my crush hasn't asked me out.
High school crush: Who is it?
Me: You.
Him: Goodbye (as he runs away and never comes back)
Me: Fuck that.
What did the soldier say when he saw a terrorist in a wheelchair?
"An RC-XD!"
A man goes to a doctor and says he's having problems shitting, so the doctor gives him an enema and says he needs to do it a few times at home, but does the first one for him. So the guy bends over the table, lubes him up, and shoves it deep in him, and he yells.
So later, the man goes home and tells his wife he needs her help with the enema. So he bends over, she lubes him up, puts a hand on his shoulder, and she shoves it up there, and he starts screaming and cussing, and the wife asks, "Did I hurt you?" He said, "No, I just realized when the doctor did it, he had both hands on my shoulders."
A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"
She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"
He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."
Your mama is so funny looking that when the doctor called her, he said, "Never visit me again. I hope you die!"
I was telling the emo kid emo jokes, and I couldn’t read them because I was laughing too hard. I almost cut the emo kid. He wasn’t laughing at the jokes.
