Hes jokes
There was a person inside who needed help from the police, but the police changed their number, so he ordered a party with pizzas from 2 airplanes, but the pilots were stupid, so they put people instead of pizzas, and one landed on the 93rd floor and the 94th floor, literally.
Why does the kid in the wheelchair get bullied all the time?
Because he can’t stand up for himself.
Why was the orphan so successful?
When they told him, "Go big or go home," he/she only had one option.
Have you ever walked past Stephen Hawking's house?
No, well neither has he.
If Opposition Expunged thought he was an animal, what would Thearchy be called?
Therianarchy!
A man is depressed and he sighs. A bully says, "Stop sighing, you sound like some guys having a threesome!"
When you have to fight an emo kid, but he brings his friends, so you gotta fight the Suicide Squad. But you gotta get the boys to help you.
An orphan is at a barbecue and is getting food. A man asks him if he wants steak or phan I ment ham.
Say what you want about Hitler, at least he got the trains to run on time.
The Stiggs life is a joke. Wait, I forgot, he doesn't have a life.
Why did your dad FUCKING LEAVE YOU? He went to suck balls.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She gagged.
Why was Huggy Wuggy not able to hug Cody’s mom?
Because she was so fat he couldn’t fit his arms around her.
I saw a kid sitting on the curb and I asked him, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" "You're parents did."
Did Jesus die a virgin? No, he got nailed before he died.
A news headline read: "A toddler has shot a person every week in the US for two years straight."
He was in the infantry.
Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy.
You wouldn’t believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.
Chalie has an eating disorder, and he is shorter, so is his life, but he will never get a wife. He's a gay motherfucker who wants to be hit by a trucker?
When I finished high school, I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said no.
See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was eighteen, and I could just have his motorcycle.
A guy goes ice fishing for the very first time. All of a sudden, he hears a voice. “There are no fish under the ice!”
He ignores it and moves to another area, cuts a hole, and tosses his line in. Again, he hears the booming voice: “There are no fish under the ice!”
He nervously looks up and asks, “Lord? Is that you?”
“No, this is the rink manager!”
I was at school one day, and my teacher gave me homework. Once I got home, I did not do my homework, but I watched TV. After the movie, I finally went to go do my homework. I was almost done with my homework when I got to the last question. I didn't know the answer, so I asked the closest living being to me, which was my dog, and I asked him: what's two minus two? He said nothing.