Hes jokes
Did you hear of the guy who was sad about being in a wheelchair? He had that crippling depression.
Chris Benoit is like a depressed orphan because he killed his family.
dont make jokes about the accident my dad died in it he was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia :(
One time a kid came to the hospital and said, "I really need help." The kid said he was really hot, so they put an ice cold towel on him.
Then the doctor asked him if he had any problems, and he said, "Yes, I am really hot." The doctor realized that he looked fine, so he said, "Are you sure? You look amazing." And the kid said that he meant to say, "I look hot!"
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not, you idiot. He got nailed before he died!
What happens to Stephen Hawking when he logs in to his account on Google when it says, "I am not a robot?"
Why did the bounty hunter not cash in an orphan?
He was not worth keeping.
Why can't an orphan be friends with Dom Toretto?
Dom doesn't have friends; he has "family."
What do you call an autistic kid if he was short?
A short tistic.
The doctor gave his patient 1 day of life, so he shot him. Then the judge gave him 15 years, so there you go, problem solved.
Why did Michael Jackson dangle his baby out the window?
He was airing his blanket.
What did the blanket say when he fell off the bed?
Oh sheet!
Why did the turtle start flying? He was on a jet.
My kid runs in today to tell me that he found a floating cow, but when he got me to come and see, all I saw was a piñata with a tail and white spots. Such a stupid child. So after that I gave him a nice refreshing drink from the toilet and a few of those chocolate sprinkles. (: I'm such a good parent...
Have you ever seen a blind man swim?
Neither has he.
What is the difference between Jesus and the devil?
When the devil came to Earth, he was the one with the nail gun.
Me and my friend roasting each other.
Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.
Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he wanted to get to the other side.
People were scared of the alligator because it ate everyone, so they called for the water god Aquarius.
He said "Sea ya later, alligator!" and he drowned.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite game? Jacks.
Why? He loved to play with the little balls.