Hes jokes

Two people are in a restaurant. Person #1 doesn’t order anything, and Person #2 orders a chili.

Person #1: “Aren’t you gonna eat your bowl of chili?”

Person #2: “No, you can have it.”

Person #1: “Ok, thanks...”

Person 1 starts eating his food only to find half of a dead rat! He vomits all of the food back into the bowl.

Person #2: “That’s about as far as I got too!”

I think it was wrong for that school shooter to end his life at the scene.

He could have done some good by becoming some lonely lifer's bottom.

Why were the baker's hands brown?

Because he was kneading a poop.

One day, a lady and her husband were talking and it was time for dinner. He got up and sat at the dining room table, and the lady brought the plate of food in and she sat it down in front of him. "What's this?" he said. The lady said, "A piece of shit...honey! Want some water to drink?"

What did the pirate say when he saw a ghost? He said, "Oh my God, it's me dead parrot!"

One day, I was sitting on my couch watching YouTube when I heard a knock on the door. I opened the door, and to my surprise, it was my dad. I haven't seen him in 16 years, so I let him in. I noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand, and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge.

Then he walked towards me and said, "Oh no! I forgot the cereal!" Then he walked out the door and drove away. I never saw him again.

Why did Yoda go to jail for rape?

He doesn't get consent; he just uses the force.

"Is that a quirked-up white boi with a little bit of swag, busting it down sexual style?

Is HE goated with the sauce?"

There is a room of men: Jamal, David, and Afzul. "Jamal is black," "David is white," and "Afzul is a Pakistani." Who set off the bomb?

Afzul, it's clearly him cause he's a Pakistani...

I felt bad for the orphan because he couldn't go on a field trip, you know why?

Parent signature: _________

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

"Where's my tractor?!"

Why do they call him Mankind if he is always choke slamming people?

The reason your dad never came back with the milk is 'cause he ran 88 mph downhill.

I saw a little boy sitting on a curb wearing rags.

I said: "Aww, are you an orphan?"

And he responded with "Yeah. What gave me away?"

And I said: "Your parents."

One time Little Johnny saw someone in his yard tying a rope to a tree, and he moved the stool and the tree broke. Little Johnny screamed, "HAHA! You're skinny enough to break the tree!"

One day, little Johnny was playing with his toys and looked out the window. He saw the neighbor's kid laying face-first in the grass, not breathing.

Little Johnny continued to shoot his nerf gun at the neighbor's big booty cheeks. No movement at all. After little Johnny went to get a snack, he looked out the window again and the kid was gone.

Little Johnny went to the neighbors and said, "I'm sorry to hear that your child has gone missing."

Look over there, I say to a man... he was blind. /ratio /bozo /ratio

An Asian walked up to another Asian that was crying.

He asked, "Is somting wong?"

The other guy says, "I was i a noh paking zon."

I bought my son a trampoline. He sat in his wheelchair and cried.

A kid went to visit his bully, and he says, "How's your face?" The kid says, "How's your parents?" and proceeds to walk out of the orphanage.