Hes jokes
If I saw a homosexual or transsexual man do so much as TOUCH my child, he would be dead, zombified, and castrated by the end of the day.
Protect your young'uns from these degenerate freaks and live off the grid so they have no bearing on your life.
My friend showed me his broken finger, and I said, "JESUS!" He said his name is Jake.
My Emo friend was coming over to my house. When he got there, he said, "Got a rope?" I asked why, and he said, "I want to make a swing."
My brother when he sees a girl.
Jamal had 75 candy bars. He ate 65. What does he have now?
Diabetes.
Why couldn't the surfer hang 10?
Because he forgot his feats!
I saw a little kid crying because he was lost. I asked him, "Where are your parents?"
God, I love working in an orphanage!
Why was the emo kicked out of the circus?
Because he was cutting in line!
So I told an orphan if her mom is hot, he wouldn't stop crying.
Why does an orphan hate the internet?
Because he's always on the homepage.
The kid with a gun walked into my classroom and fucking shot the teacher.
He pointed the gun at me and asked, "What's 2+2?" I answer him and he writes the answer down on his test. He did this with every kid. He got a 100%, expelled, and a lifetime in prison. Hey, at least he gets free food.
Jesus got rejected. A few years later, he died. He came back just to lose his virginity because even Jesus is not a fucking cunt.
Jesus got rejected. A few years later he died. He came back just to lose his virginity because even Jesus is not a fucking cunt.
Get off this site and go have some sex, you fucking virgins.
A guy asked me what I do for a living.
Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"
A man comes to an assassin who charges $1000 per shot. He tells the assassin, "My wife's been cheating on me. I want you to shoot her in the head and shoot the guy in the dick." When they arrive, they wait. The man asks why he hasn't taken the shot. The assassin says, "I know how I can save you $1000."
Why do orphans hate any milk?
Their dad did not come back for 10 years. Oh, sorry, he got lost in the store! 🤧
What do you call a dinosaur with good eyesight?
Do you think he saw us?
My dad said he'd get the milk, but he forgot I was in his car.
Why did the Titanic sink? Because it saw an iceberg selling candy.
Therapist: So what brought you here today?
Wife: He's too literal.
Therapist: And you, sir?
Husband: My truck.