Hes jokes
Why did the fruit punch say "What's sup?"
He was so naughty!
Q. When is your grandfather's bedtime?
A. Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.
You see this guy's sense, bahh? If it was a cartoon, it would be an avatar. Cause why?
Anytime he needs it most, it vanishes. š¹š
"Cheesus" hates me, yeah, I know, 'cause he's a real douchelord fictional character.
So, Biden, Zelensky, and Putin are on a plane, and the plane loses altitude and goes down, but there are 2 parachutes. Putin takes the first one and jumps because he is a greedy twat. So he jumps, but then Biden says, "You go, Zelensky. I am much older than you, and it is ok for me to die." So Zelensky takes the second one and jumps, but when he did, the plane regains altitude, and Biden got to Washington, DC, all fine. They found out the reason was Zelensky's steel balls.
I saw a kid in a wheelchair, and he was getting bullied. I said, "Stand up for yourself!"
Why does Batman only wear black?
Because he's emo!
There are three people on the steps of Heaven. God tells them all he is having a good day and if they make him laugh by telling him how they died, he will let them in.
The first one said, "I just finished a long day of work and I get home, and right as I stepped in, I knew my wife was cheating on me. I searched everywhere and I couldnāt find anybody, so I got a drink and went to the balcony, and then I saw him, hanging off the ledge of the balcony. I kicked his hands, but he wouldnāt fall, so I threw a Refrigerator at him, and I fell with the Refrigerator."
God busted out laughing and let him in.
The next person walked up and God told him the same thing he told the other person. God told him that he didnāt think that he could make him laugh more than the first person. The second guy said, "So get this, Iām a window washer on the 8th floor. Iām washing the windows like normal, and this enraged psychopath walks up and starts kicking my hands, and then he throws a refrigerator at me and I die."
God bursts out laughing so much to where he falls off his chair, and he lets the guy through. The next guy comes up and God tells him the same thing he told the last two people, and he tells him that there is no way that he can make him laugh more than the other two did. So he starts talking. "So get this, Iām in a refrigerator..."
Did you hear of the guy who was sad about being in a wheelchair? He had that crippling depression.
Chris Benoit is like a depressed orphan because he killed his family.
dont make jokes about the accident my dad died in it he was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia :(
One time a kid came to the hospital and said, "I really need help." The kid said he was really hot, so they put an ice cold towel on him.
Then the doctor asked him if he had any problems, and he said, "Yes, I am really hot." The doctor realized that he looked fine, so he said, "Are you sure? You look amazing." And the kid said that he meant to say, "I look hot!"
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not, you idiot. He got nailed before he died!
What happens to Stephen Hawking when he logs in to his account on Google when it says, "I am not a robot?"
Why did the bounty hunter not cash in an orphan?
He was not worth keeping.
Why can't an orphan be friends with Dom Toretto?
Dom doesn't have friends; he has "family."
What do you call an autistic kid if he was short?
A short tistic.
The doctor gave his patient 1 day of life, so he shot him. Then the judge gave him 15 years, so there you go, problem solved.
Why did Michael Jackson dangle his baby out the window?
He was airing his blanket.
What did the blanket say when he fell off the bed?
Oh sheet!