Hes jokes
Did you hear about the dead Italian chef?
He pasta way!
Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."
My dad went to go get milk. He came back 7 years later, and we had to send him back because he got the wrong milk.
When a homeless kid goes to school and the teacher says, "You have homework tonight," he said, "Sorry, Teach, I don't got a home."
What did the teacher say when he raped his naughty student?
"Face the wall!"
A man is digging in his garden and finds a gold chest. He goes to tell his wife.
Then he remembers why he was digging in the garden...
The doctor told me my temperature was exactly 98.6 degrees. I felt relieved until he said, “Celsius.”
Is your dad a magician?
Because he magically disappeared.
So you decide one day to ask your son if he wants to f**k, do you do it for 3 hours, then you realize how will I explain another pregnancy to my sterile husband?
Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he Neverlands. (This joke is good because it never gets old.)
Have you heard about the guy whose friends teased him because he pays for sex? He doesn't pay anymore.
Little Johnny is my son, and he got hit by a semi-truck owned by a Russian. Now I am on my way on a nuclear submarine with a Burger King Whopper to Moscow, then take revenge for little Johnny!
Why did Hitler kill himself? He knew the war was over at the beginning.
Why did the orphan get sent to the principal's office?
Because he punched dumbos like you people!
What did the guy tired of hearing people joke about rape do?
He killed everyone on this f#cking website.
You know what the difference between Kobe Bryant and Russell Westbrook is?
He wears 0 and Kobe has 0 lives left.
Did you know that former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.
Say what you will about Donald Trump, at least he's not Biden.
Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?
Because he can't get home.
Did you hear about the cannibal who converted to Catholicism?
On Fridays, he only eats fishermen!