Hes jokes

The reason your dad never came back with the milk is 'cause he ran 88 mph downhill.

I saw a little boy sitting on a curb wearing rags.

I said: "Aww, are you an orphan?"

And he responded with "Yeah. What gave me away?"

And I said: "Your parents."

One time Little Johnny saw someone in his yard tying a rope to a tree, and he moved the stool and the tree broke. Little Johnny screamed, "HAHA! You're skinny enough to break the tree!"

One day, little Johnny was playing with his toys and looked out the window. He saw the neighbor's kid laying face-first in the grass, not breathing.

Little Johnny continued to shoot his nerf gun at the neighbor's big booty cheeks. No movement at all. After little Johnny went to get a snack, he looked out the window again and the kid was gone.

Little Johnny went to the neighbors and said, "I'm sorry to hear that your child has gone missing."

Look over there, I say to a man... he was blind. /ratio /bozo /ratio

An Asian walked up to another Asian that was crying.

He asked, "Is somting wong?"

The other guy says, "I was i a noh paking zon."

I bought my son a trampoline. He sat in his wheelchair and cried.

A kid went to visit his bully, and he says, "How's your face?" The kid says, "How's your parents?" and proceeds to walk out of the orphanage.

A German, an Australian, and a Mexican are on a plane. They say that they can tell where they are by sticking their hands out of the pane.

The German sticks his hand out and says, "We are in Germany." The others ask, "How do you know?" The German says, "Because it's so cold."

Then the Australian sticks his hand out and says, "We are in Australia." The others ask, "How do you know?" He replies, "Because it's so warm."

Then the Mexican sticks his hand out and back in. He says, "We are in Mexico." The others ask, "How do you know?" He says, "Because my watch is gone."

Why did Stephen die so early?

He didn't use long lasting batteries.

Why did the ducky get arrested?

He got caught selling quack.

A man ate a glue stick. It tasted bad. He died. Hahahahah!

When Kenney goes down on his mom, does he taste vegetable or fish?

Anyone else know that Hitler had only one testicle?

Maybe that's why he killed himself. Bro could never get any bitches!

My uncle was a priest.

He had a two-inch penis, but when it was in my ass, it felt like a torpedo.

An orphan was shocked, he called the ambulance. If he forgot he's suicidal, he quickly hung up.

Why did the moderator of worstjokesever.com die?

He had a heart attack because he was a fat loser.

Why did Mozart hate all of his chickens?

When he asked them who the best composer was, they all replied, “Bach, Bach, Bach.”

Why are orphans running around the world after the baseball coach said, "Go home"?

Because he didn’t know what the hell to do.

When is the best time to punch a midget in the face?

When he’s standing next to your girlfriend and says your hair smells nice.