What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
Hes Jokes
Everybody add @christianisni22 on Snap!
He's a hot babe and he's single.
Why is the blind kid popular?
He can't see the middle fingers.
How does a disabled kid walk to school?
He wishes he had the facilities to.
Why does a blind man still have eyes?
So he can see that he can't see.
One man said, "The audacity on that deaf kid!"
The other man said, "Bro, does he even have audio?"
Why is the blind man so close to the door?
He can't see it.
Why did the blind man cross the road?
Don't ask me, he can't even see where he's going.
A man is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.
He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch.
He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there's a knock at the door.
He opens it and sees the same snail.
The snail says, "What was that all about?"
Little Johnny’s father walks into the bathroom and catches him masturbating. He says, “Son, every time you do that, you kill an innocent baby.”
The next day, his father walks into the bathroom and catches him again. Johnny says, “Bow your head, Dad. Can’t you see we’re having a funeral?”
Little Johnny says: “Mom, you know that lovely vase in the dining room that’s been handed down from generation to generation?”
Mom replies: “Yes. What about it?”
He says: “Well, the last generation just dropped it.”
The teacher was terrified to hear Little Johnny swear.
“I never want you to use language like that again. Where on earth did you pick it up?”
“From my father,” said Johnny.
“Well, he should be ashamed of himself. And it’s no reason for you to talk like that. You don’t even know what it means.”
“I do,” said Johnny. “It means the car won’t start.”
A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees. “I don’t want to know!” Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into tears.
Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong. “Oh, Pop,” Johnny sobbed, “For me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. And if you’re telling me now that grownups don’t really have sex, I’ve got nothing left to live for!”
A teacher asks her class, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Little Johnny says “I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best b*tch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day.”
The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. “And you, Susie?” the teacher asks. Susie says “I wanna be Johnny’s b*tch.”
Did you hear about the cello player who dreamed he was performing Bolero?
He woke up and found out it was true.
Why does Michael Jackson like Doge Miner? He thinks it's about minors dressed in doge costumes.
One day, Little Susie got her monthly bleeding for the first time in her life.
Not quite certain what was happening, and somewhat frightened, she decided to tell Little Johnny. Little Susie dropped her panties and showed Little Johnny what was happening.
Little Johnny's eyes opened wide in amazement. "You know," he said, "I'm not a doctor, but it looks like someone just ripped your balls off!"
What happened when the Japanese guy offered Logan Paul a high five?
He left him hanging.
You shouldn't joke about 9/11. My grampa died on 9/11. He was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.
My dad died in the 9/11 attack. He was a good pilot.
