Hes jokes
I put a guy in a fridge. He said, "I had a nightmare!"
I went for a swim in the river that crosses Mexico, and I saw a Mexican, aka a wetback, swimming across. I asked, and he said, "I'm a wetback."
There was a kid and a historian in a museum about WW2 and were looking at Hitler in a car doing the Nazi salute. The kid said, “Why is he putting his arm in the air?” The historian said, “Indicators on cars didn’t exist back then so he’s probably saying take the Third Reich!”
My grandfather said that ppl rely on technology too much these days, so I thought about what he said and decided to unplug his life support.
My homework was to watch as much porn as I can... and tell my teacher the details so he won't get in trouble for watching it during class.
My friend called me a dick earlier. I said, "You are what you eat." He then proceeded to run away from me.
A boy went to a genie and said, "I want to be like Batman."
He went home, his parents weren't there.
What do you say when a handicapped man forgets something? "He knew it like the back of his hand."
He is so fast that he broke the internet for the whole world when he ran.
Why does a deaf kid always like football? He gets signed.
Why does Michael Jackson like to play golf?
He likes to hit small white balls.
You're so ugly when a pig saw you, he said, "Yes, my brother is back."
What is Michael Jackson's chemical? The HE-HE-lium.
Why did the orphan grow up to be a priest?
So he could be called Father Les.
My grief counselor died. He was so good, I don't even care!
Why did John rape his mother? Because he wanted a brother to play Mario Kart with.
What did the customer ask when he went to the cannibal restaurant?
"Who's the special today?"
Why are Santa's balls so big?
Because he comes once a year.
What if Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady, but he couldn’t stand up?
A man marries a blonde chick, lives a happy life together, and the man asks his wife if she wants kids. She says "yes".
So, a couple of years go by, and they have one boy and one girl. They go to school, go home with their report cards, and the dad asks what their grades were. The son says he's not doing well, same with the daughter. They ask why they're doing so bad in school, and the dad replies with "ask your mother that question!"