Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.
Why can't Kobe go shopping?
He's dead.
Why does Michael Jackson like to play ping pong or table tennis? He likes to play with the little balls.
What happens when an asian with an erection bumps into a wall? he breaks his nose
Why did AlexDaEgg fall down the stairs? Because he is fat.
If Shaquille O’Neal had a boat, he would’ve named it Freethrow, because he will never sink it.
If Shaq had a boat, he would name it "Freethrow," because he would never sink it.
Stephen was a mad role model. He never taught me to stand up for myself.
What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? Nothing because fish cant talk
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
I was in a haunted house today. Nothing scared me until I reached the last room, where I saw the scariest Halloween ghost I've ever seen. He took my pens and ghosted. I was told that I saw Pristiano Penaldo and I was lucky enough to see him because he performs once in a blue moon.
A friend took me out to his shed and was showing me all his tools, when he pointed to a ladder. "That's my step ladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
Everybody add @christianisni22 on Snap!
He's a hot babe and he's single.
Why is the blind kid popular?
He can't see the middle fingers.
How does a disabled kid walk to school?
He wishes he had the facilities to.
Why does a blind man still have eyes?
So he can see that he can't see.
One man said, "The audacity on that deaf kid!"
The other man said, "Bro, does he even have audio?"
Why is the blind man so close to the door?
He can't see it
Why did the blind man cross the road?
Don't ask me, he can't even see where he's going.
