Jonny went fishing and he didn’t know how to cast his pole, and he asked his friend Joe how to cast it. Then when he cast, he only cast 3 feet, and he never learned how to do it.
Hes Jokes
There was 1 gay guy, who kissed 4576 gay guys. Then had sex with them, creaming so hard, all of the dicks cumming on his face.
Then he stopped and had sex again x6, now he was left with...
So 6 is scared of 7 because 7, 8, 9, but why did 10 have PTSD?
He was stuck in the middle of 9/11.
Why did the child cross the road?
Because he didn’t wear a seatbelt.
I think my dad's gay because he goes out with his mates to get milk but never returns.
My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."
Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"
"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."
Two women, Jane and Emma, are in the afterlife waiting for judgement.
Emma turns to Jane and says, "I'm just curious, but how did you die?"
Jane replies with, "I burnt to death."
Emma, shocked, responds with, "That sounds horrible! What was it like?"
Jane answers with, "It first felt really hot and painful, but then I felt nothing. How did you die?"
Emma replies with, "Well, I believed my husband was cheating on me. I decided to leave work early one day to make sure he was loyal. I found him on the phone with his mother. I thought he was hiding something from me so I ran to the bedroom and found nothing. Then I sprinted to the kitchen and didn't find anything. I then jolted outside to the backyard and just found that he hadn't cleaned the pool. I was so tired from running that I fell over into the pool and drowned."
Jane retorts with, "Well if you checked the oven neither of us would be here right now."
Your hairline is so far back my grandpa said he had a glimpse of it in the 1960s.
I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for Christmas.
He said it was the most violent book he ever read.
Two guys were beating up someone in an alley, so I stepped in to help.
He didn't stand a chance against the three of us.
All these 9/11 jokes need to stop.
My uncle died in 9/11. At least he died doing what he loves: flying planes.
What is the difference between a Walking Dead and you? He doesn't feel pain.
Thanks to the voice who keeps telling me to let go,
he is my only motivation for trying again.
Why doesn’t Dracula have any friends?
Well, honestly, he’s a real pain in the neck.
A boy is about to be sentenced for killing his parents. He begs the judge to spare his life. The judge asks for one good reason he should be shown any mercy. The boy replies, "I’m an orphan, your honor."
When Drake was making the song "Back to Back," he was referring to your hairline.
I saw an orphan on the road. I asked him if he's an orphan. The kid says, "Yeah, what gave it away?"
I say, "Your parents."
Why did the man fall into a well? He couldn’t see that well.
Why did Peter bring toilet roll to the party? Because he was a party pooper!
I got kicked out of Social Studies class when my teacher made us watch a women's rights documentary. When he asked us what the genre of the film was, I put my hand up and said "Fiction."
