A Catholic priest finds a young boy crying at the top of a cliff.
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
The boy points down. “Mummy and Daddy were in the car and it went over the edge.”
The priest can see the flaming wreck below. He looks around and sees no one else is about and starts to unbutton his belt.
“It’s really not your day, is it?”
Someone went up to an orphan and asked him why he was talking to the air. He said he was talking to his mom.
My dad in 911 he was the best pilot
I feel sad because I went to an old man in a wheelchair while he was sitting next to a fire, and I screamed, "Hot Wheels!" 🤣
What did MLK Jr. say when he spent the night on the internet?
"Last night I had a meme."
Why did the orphan rob the bank, Because he wanted to know what it felt like to be wanted.
Did you know that Stephen Hawking's death was an accident because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep mode?"
What was found under MJ's pillow after he died?
Billy's jeans.
Do you know why 6 is afraid of 7? Why? Because 7 ate 9 (8).
Do you know why 10 is scared? Why? Because he is between 9 and 11.
What mistake did the manager of the Twin Towers make?
He replaced all the window cleaners with 2 commercial jets.
Jesus takes his disciples to a bar.
"13 pints of water, please," he says to the barman.
"Oh, fuck, not you again," the barman replies.
"You boys are about to see something real special," says Jesus.
One of my family members died on 9/11, he was one of the best pilots in the Middle East.
An emo kid sees his clothes hanging to dry, and he says to his clothes, "I wish I were you!"
Have you ever heard of the Russian politician who was so afraid of the dark that, instead of going to the bathroom at night, he would use a metal tin that he kept underneath his bed?
His name is Vladimir Pootin.
A missionary went to visit an orphanage in Thailand. After looking around, he asked the manager, "Why do these kids have numbers instead of names on their shirts? And why are some of them the same?"
The manager smiled and said, "Those are price tags."
My dad died in the 911 he was a good pilot
Timmy had 66 toys. He said it was "2 many (662)," so he gave them to Mr. Divide. He gave 21. Equals flip it over! It’s weird.
- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.
- How did the gay person die? Homicide.
- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.
- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.
- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.
- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.
My dad died in 9/11. At least he did what he loves best: flying planes.
Why was 10 scared? bc he was in-between 9-11
