Hes jokes
"Hitler wasn't such a bad guy, after all, he did kill Hitler."
"Hitler and Goring are standing atop the Berlin radio tower. Hitler says he wants to do something to put a smile on Berliners' faces.
So Goring says: 'Why don't you jump?'"
My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends, Chad, who just murdered his wife, Claire. After doing that, he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after.
My mom's reply: "Jesus, Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess, won't he?"
I threw a dodgeball at a blind kid and got him out... guess I can say he didn't see it coming!
My orphan terrorist friend is on TV... I think he blew up.
Why did the emo kid not cross the road?
He was waiting for a car.
How do you surprise a 50-year-old man? By putting a 12-inch dick through his ass.
He said, "Best surprise ever!"
There was an exam music quiz question about Gary Glitter. Now, if there's anyone you don't want to associate with the phrase "shh, turn over, you've got an hour," it's him.
Shit, my bad. I should leave him alone, he just wants to settle down and have kids.
Why did the bullet end up losing his job?
Because he got fired!
The kid in the wheelchair was getting bullied, so I encouraged him to stand up for himself. I don't know why he started crying.
I pushed a handicapped orphan out of his wheelchair. Who is he gonna tell, his parents?
Imagine this scenario: A doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses, diseases, etc. in the world but cooler like this: "Bumbumbum you have depression, diarrhea, and cancer,... etc."
And then the last one on the list is that he is deaf, and then the doctor shows the patient the list.
Imagine this scenario: a doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses in the world like this: "You have depression, diarrhea, cancer,... etc." and then the last one on the list is that he is deaf.
My dad died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
Q: What did the Buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
A: Bison.
When you let the school shooter borrow your pen so he doesn't kill you.
I think my dad loves jokes.
Because he laughs when he looks at me.
What did Rob O'Neill say before he shot Osama Bin Laden between the eyes?
"Go to HELLakbar!"
Bush is innocent, he's white...
What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature.