Herring jokes

Her: I love Kobe Bryant!

Me: Helicopter Helicopter

Her:.....

Me: At least you don't say save the trees, cus damn Kobe is good.

I went to my girlfriend's house one day in Alabama when I met her brother. He said, "Well, I guess there's no more you stuck in the dryer."

A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners.

The lady says, "Come again!"

The blonde says, "No, it's toothpaste this time."

Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life?

Her: Awww... Yes!!!

Me: Good, then stay 92.96 million miles away from me.

If there was a girl and a boy and the boy fell, what did the boy do to the girl?

He fell for her.

A: She looks good when she opens her hair. 😮

B: You will look good when you open your wallet. 👛

What did the mom tell her son when he asked for a bowl of cereal? "Sorry your dad wasn't came back with the milk yet."

Roses are red, pussies are wet, when it goes in he gets upset. She said it's too small, so that's all. But later that day, he wanted to say, "Every time I play, no one complains, so she was just lying." She started flying, went out of her seat, the skirt went up, the greatest of them all. Everyone said, "Fly away big chunky balls."

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    • A man has been dating a girl forever. He finally says, "I love you." The girl says, "Aww, thanks." The man looks at her, "Are you not gonna say it back?" The girl says, "No, I can’t."

    One day I caught my sister talking to my girlfriend, and she said, "You never told me you're lesbian." I said, "No, not at all." My girlfriend asked, "Why did you not tell her?" and I said, "Because every time I bring a girl home, I hear too much noise in her room, and I never get the chance to kiss them because she's cleaning the trash." She said, "Yeah, the trash is her junk."

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    • I wrote a few jokes:

    What does a 15-year-old boy do without two hands when his parents are not at home? Well, obviously do not jerk off.

    Yesterday a girl from my job invited me to her home and there I had crazy sex. I could not think that her mother is so hot.

    What will happen the morning after the destruction of humanity? Duncan MacLeod makes himself breakfast.

    A teacher says, "If you have one dollar and your parents give you 5 dollars, how much do you have?"

    Everyone raised their hands except for a little girl in the front, but the teacher called on her anyway.

    The girl said, "My parents left me, so I would have one dollar."

    Why did nobody believe the little girl who got raped?

    She said a monster attacked her.

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    • So little Susie came home and said, "Mom, little Johnny showed me his pecker."

    And her mom said, "WHAT?!"

    And little Susie was like, "Yeah, it reminded me of a peanut." Her mom said, "Oh, because it was so small?"

    Susie said, "No, because it tasted salty."

    I asked my wife if I could use toys during sex last night. You should've seen her face when I rolled my Hot Wheels across her tits.

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