Herring jokes
Jo Mama is so fat, I left her printing last year, and she is still printing!
Yo mama so fat that when I banged her in the jacuzzi, there was a level 8 tsunami.
Yo mama so dumb that when she saw the "log in" page on her computer, she went and put a log in it.
Jim was caught beating a man up. Brooklyn took a picture of his license plate with her phone and told him, "Your life is ruined!" So Jim took a picture of her, and the next thing you know, he said, "Now my phone is ruined!"
A little girl said one day, "Grandma's gonna die tonight!" The next morning, the girl's grandmother's body was found.
That day she said again, "Grandpa's gonna die tonight!" Sure enough, the girl's grandfather died and his body was discovered the next morning.
That day she said, "Daddy's gonna die tonight." The girl's father was terrified. He lay shaking the entire night. Somehow, he survived until morning. His wife came into the room crying. He asked her why she was upset and she said that the postman had died last night.
What did the mother cheetah say to her cub?
"Go to bed or I'll slap your spots off you!"
What does a Trump supporter use to load his/her AR-15?
A MAGAzine.
My mom died when we couldn’t remember her blood type. As she died, she kept telling us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without her.
Joe Mama so dumb, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it is still printing.
Me and my friends were having a party the other day when some bitch came bitching about the noise. Thankfully, she was hot and had a nice ass, so it was enjoyable raping her.
The next day when I woke up, I found her body only half eaten. Her lower body was still intact, so I went for seconds to fuck off the hangover. Then I had breakfast. Her ass tasted good with some ketchup.
Yo mama is so fat, her car has stretch marks.
Yo mama's so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it.
Joe mama is so fat, Dora can't explore her.
Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to smell her own nose.
Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?
To make up her mind.
Herpes? No, I don't want her. Her pees.
I went on a date with an Eastern European chick. She got mad because I rushed her...
Get it? It's Russia, and I rushed her.
A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence.
Jane ate her friend’s sandwich.
Jane ate her friend’s colon.
If she refuses to suck and threatens to bite, just knock her teeth out. Call it the “Bloody Gummer”.
A woman exclaims that she was robbed. She was reading in the dark, candles were next to her. She says the thief opens her cabin of jewelry and leaves and enters from the window. He left the window open so she feels a drift of wind coming towards her. She turns the lights on and sees what happened.
The candle wax was going down straight. A policeman closes the window and cabin then tells her she's lying just for the cash reward. Why?
Because if the drift of wind came in, the candle wax would be dripping to the side, not straight!