Your mum is so fat that when she sat on the toilet, she couldn't because her fat ass can't fit on the toilet seat.
You look like the type of guy to wash his/her hands after a shower! (And don't write in the comments that there are more than 2 genders.)
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "I know you wanna." Jack undressed, and she pulled up her dress so they could have some fun. But stupid Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
Teacher said, "You never do your homework," so I shot her 7 times with a M1 BushDid911 and replied, "It's all in my backpack, can you grade it please?"
My teacher said, "Words don't hurt!"
So I threw my dictionary at her.
A pregnant wife and her husband were in a hospital as she was in labor. The doctor suggested using a machine that transfers the birth pains from the mother to the father. They agree, so the machine is used. 40%, the husband feels nothing, 70% still not feeling anything, 100%, nothing.
The doctor says it must be broken. When the pair return home, the milkman is dead in the front yard.
Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you fuck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR FUCKED NOW
Hey Gwen, listen, I know you're on this app, fake or not. I love you either way. Please find this faker and finish her off for what she's done, real Gwen.
*You're a real best Gwen*
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy, but jack was in shock with a mouth full of c**k cause Jills real name was randy.
Was busy robbing a house as quietly as possible and saw a woman catching me in the act, decided to get her on the act and gave away my location from the noise
What do you call someone who hates rape jokes? An ugly feminist that couldn't get a cock in her mouth.
Women be like, "Don't say that about her genitals," then makes fun of men's genitals.
Yo mama so fat, her future is brighter than VY Canis Majoris!
Yo mamas so fat her she thinks the buffet is the starter plate.
Yo mama is so fat, the country of Russia isn't big enough to house her!
yo mama so fat she asked for a water bed and they gave her the ocean
My friend is so ugly she got surgery twice but not even that could fix her 0-0
Roses are red, her name is Lily, she bends over, and said "HARDER, DADDY!"
"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.
That's what Elliot Rodger did.
Your mamma so fat she has to use the equator as her belt.
