"Your mum has very small balls. Congrats! I told her, your balls are bigger than your husband's."
My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.
Your mom is so ugly you look like her oh got em
A plane is about to crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out.
A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a man man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, takes off his shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"
Your mom is so fat that Dora couldn't explore her.
john walk into pat at the barn he was dancing nacked in front of a tractor john said hey pat what you doing pat said well me and the wife have been having a bit of trouble in bed so I went to a therapist and he said I should do something sexy to a tractor (attract her)
A 9 year old year girl lies on a hospital bed struggling to breath as she waits for the doctor to come. The doctor finally comes and the little girl can breathe much easier after he pulls his cock out of her mouth
Once there was a woman who had a husband and a dog, the husband dies. The dog would always sleep under the bed and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down and the dog would like it to say she/he was alright. One night it was thunder storming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does he/she likes her hand.
Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap. But the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.
On the mirror it said, "Humans can like too", in the dogs blood.
This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!
How do you make an 8 year old girl cry twice. Wipe your bloody cock off on her favourite teddy bear after you’ve finished raping her
me: I'm going to steal your heart.
her: omg that's so romantic!!
me, an organ trafficker: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Yo mama so fat. Even dora couldn't explore her
Yo mom's so fat, I went over to her house a few years ago and wanted to watch TV.
So I asked for the TV remote, and she's still trying to get it!
Yo mama so ugly her self portraits hanged themselves
I told my wife to embrace her mistakes So she gave me a hug
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana Jack got high and grabbed Jill's thigh and said "I know u wanna" Jill said yes, lifted up her dress and then they had some fun but stupid Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son
I like my girlfriend's new secondary school uniform, I guess, but doesn’t beat her old primary school one. 😀
What did the female rapist say at her hearing? Well that boys dick was inside me and you know what you metoo people say 'my body my choice'
Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and went up to her mom and asked "mom I have hair on my privates, what is it?" "OH, honey that's your monkey." The mom says So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says "my monkey has hair on it" the sister replies with a laugh "you think that's cool my monkey is already eating bananas
who likes fortnite Gwen Stacy is in the game lets goooooo i love her
I went to a tall girl and I asked her, "What do you do for a living?" She says, "An account." So I reply with, "An accounting the hairs on people's heads," and then I run away.
