Yo momma is so old, her birthday's expired.
YO mama so fat she has her own gravity
But she so ugly people are repelled by her
Yo momma's so fat that even Dora can't explore her.
My sister told me only onions make you cry, so I always hit her back when she hit me, but I hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.
Yeah Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh You decide, if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh I'm sad I know, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh You decide, if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh I'm sad I know, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah I gave her everything She took my heart and left me lonely I think broken heart's contagious I won't fix, I'd rather weep I'm lost then I'm found But it's torture bein' in love I love when you're around But I fuckin' hate when you leave Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh You decide, if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh I'm sad I know, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh You decide, if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh I'm sad I know, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh You decide, if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh I'm sad I know, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh You decide, if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah Suicide, if you ever try to let go, uh I'm sad I know, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah
Yo mama's so fat, her belly button gets home 15 minutes before she does.
At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, “That’s the fourth time you’ve gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn’t it embarrass you?”
“Why should it?” answered her spouse. “I keep telling them it’s for you.” Like if you do this to your spouse.
"Your mother has been with us for 20 years," said John. "Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?"
"My mother?" replied Helen. "I thought she was your mother."
Yo mama's so fat, I swerved to miss her in my car and ran out of gas.
I got barred from Weight Watchers today.
It wasn't my fault; it was the fat ass next to me who spilled her box of Maltesers onto the floor in the middle of the room. All I did was say that it was the funniest game of Hungry Hungry Hippos that I have ever seen.
Yo mamma so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," he was just asking her to get out the way.
I got fired my first day at the bank. This old lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Hello! I'm Taylor, and this is my life story with me and my ex girl. So when I was little, I met this girl. Her name was Leah. We were besties for a while until I turned 13. Then I asked if she wanted to date me. She said yes!
But one day, in the middle of school, she was talking to another man!!!!!!! AND THEY HUGGED AND KISSED EACH OTHER ON THE CHEEK!!!!!! Then, she told me she hated me. I was so upset!!!!!!!! Whatever you do, don't follow the ugly rat!!!!!!!!! <3
What’s the difference between KFC and a woman on her period?
One is finger-licking good, and the other is just a fast-food restaurant.
How does a hillbilly mother know when her daughter is on her period? Her son’s dick tastes like blood.
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat.
She said nothing, so I took her to Africa.
What do you call it when Hitler abuses his wife?
Adolf Hit Her.
My wife told me I could never, ever build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
My ex wanted to humiliate me in front of her friends, so she said I was useless in bed.
Should have seen her face when they all disagreed.
Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"
Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"
