Her jokes
Your mama is so ugly, her reflection ran away!
Your mama is so ugly, her shadow got a restraining order.
Your mama is so fat, the wall couldn't support her picture.
Your mama is so fat, by the time I swerved to miss her with the car, I ran out of gas.
Your mama is so old, her first Christmas, she was a Wiseman's +1.
what did the woman do after meeting up with a rapist?
sue the dating site for matching her with him.
Yo mama so hairy, she braids her elbows.
Yo mama so ugly people dress up as her on Halloween.
Yo mama so hairy, her knuckles have sideburns.
Yo mama's so fat her belly button has an echo.
Joe Mama so weird, she cut her hair in a squiggly diggly haircut.
Joe mama so fat when she got sturdy, she tripped on her shoelaces, fell on her face, and fell down 2 floors.
I was at the bank yesterday.
A lady asked to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Chuck Norris is the only man that ever had sex with my wife and survived. Oh, how did I survive?
Fortunately, being her husband, I was the one person she wasn't fucking.
Did I tell you I finally got my wife to scream during sex? Yeah, you should have heard her the other day when I walked in on her.
A guy goes into the gas station and says, "I need a box of rubbers with pesticide."
The cashier said, "Pesticide? Don't you mean spermicide?"
The guy says, "No! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week, and I am going to kill it."
My wife is so ugly when she was born, the doctor said, "I did everything I could, but she pulled through anyways." When she was born, the doctor hung himself with the umbilical cord. He pushed her back in, said, "Not done." The doctor slapped her mother. The doctor looked at her and said, "Twins!" He didn't know what end to slap. He threw her away and kept the afterbirth.
My wife is so fat! She wears high heels, she strikes oil.
When she sits around the house, she really sits *around* the house. Every time she turns around, it's her birthday.
My wife is so fat. She buys her clothes at Tent & Awning!
My wife is the only person that has "missing" posters attached to her ass.