Git jokes

You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time your friends have a group picture.

My friend wasn't laughing at my jokes, so I said, "Is your funny bone broken?" But he got mad, and then I said, "Do you have a bone to pick with me?" He tried to insult me, but I said, "Call me what you want, I got thick skin," and this story was down to the bone.

Git is going to let Bill Cosby out of jail. Oh wait, he watched Little Bill.

Why did Sellwood get named?

It is made of wood that got sold.

You take four, then you put a "n" at the end, then you take the "u" out, then you replace the "f" with a "p". What do you get?

Girl: "Hey, why don't you come over?"

Guy: "I can't. Cops are looking for me, they say I killed 2 people."

Girl: "C'mon, my parents aren't home."

Guy: "About that..."

when you use ancestry.com instead of tinder.

An emo texted a tree, "Wanna hang out?"

The tree ghosted her.

I caught my girlfriend cheating on me, with our dad.

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Do you have any problems with shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit says, "No." So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit.