Git jokes

You take four, then you put a "n" at the end, then you take the "u" out, then you replace the "f" with a "p". What do you get?

Why did Sellwood get named?

It is made of wood that got sold.

You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time your friends have a group picture.

My friend wasn't laughing at my jokes, so I said, "Is your funny bone broken?" But he got mad, and then I said, "Do you have a bone to pick with me?" He tried to insult me, but I said, "Call me what you want, I got thick skin," and this story was down to the bone.

One day my girlfriend and I were just hanging out and she needed to tell our dad that we were going out.

Did the leaf or the emo fall out of the tree? The leaf won. The rope stopped the emo.

My dog went through my bathroom garbage, and for some reason, my sister put a bunch of ketchup packets in there...

Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.

Get the whip, you're out!

A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree. Which one is gonna land first?

The leaf, because the rope stops the emo kid.

Git is going to let Bill Cosby out of jail. Oh wait, he watched Little Bill.