Fat

Fat Jokes

joe mama so fat when she got sturdy she tripped on her shoelaces fell on her face and fell down 2 floors

My brother goes into the bar and says bartender give me 12 beers and a shot of whiskey. The bartender says that's a lot of alcohol. My brother says celebrating my first blowjob. The bartender said let me buy you a drink. My brother said no this should be enough to get the taste out of my mouth.

Me and my wife decided we would only smoke after sex. I'm still on the first pack. She's up to 2 packs a week.

Did i tell you I finally got my wife to scream during sex. Yeah you should have heard her the other day when I walked in on her.

Guy goes into the gas station says I need a box of rubbers with pesticide. The cashier said pesticide don't you mean spermicide? The guy says no! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week and I am going to kill it.

My wife is so ugly when she was born. The doctor said I did everything I could but she pulled through anyways. When she was born the doctor hung himself with the umbilical cord. He pushed her back in said not done. The doctor slapped her mother. The doctor looked at her and said twins. He didn't know what end to slap. He threw her away and kept the after birth.

My wife is so fat! She wears high heels she strikes oil. When she sits around the house she really sits around the house. Everytime she turns around it's her birthday.

My wife is so fat. I finally got up the energy to walk around to the other side. I found someone else!

My wife is so fat. She asked me to get on top I had to get a step ladder. When I got up there my ears popped and the air was so thin. I had to have 2 Sherpas drag me off the mountain.

My wife is so fat. I took her to the Macy's day parade. They attached ropes to her.