Family Dynamics Jokes

It was raining sadly all day my wife my 2 daughters and me stuck in the house when wife’s mom and dad just died

Wife:😭😭😭I wish this never happened

Mia our first daughter: momy it’s ok I love whenever I see you🥰🥰

Abby our second daughter: I love u all only if you guys die I won’t but I love you when ur alive 😉😏

Me husband: what kind of nonsense was that you love us when we’re alive but you don’t love us when we’re dead🤥😥😓

Everyone except abby: abby this is serious mommy’s mother and father died. says Mia: yes your mom is sadly down right now you made her more sad😡🤬.says dad:sniffs* abby I had made a discussion I will take to an orphanage I am sorry 😣 when I amd better and happy and I forgot what you said then we’ll get you back.says mom:

This was not a joke I just did this for Love 💕

I was happy for once, and my family was happy I was happy, but that all changed when they found out I was thinking about bridges and humans.

My dads the oldest and when he was young he shot my grandpas balls off but I thought about it how does my dad have younger brothers

Family all eating at the table Brother: hmm I think I feel gold Sister: stop the cap Brother look under the table and says “ nope just a gold digger” Dad laughed Step mom storms out of the room

I went to a sleepover at my best friend's house. He lives with his grandpa and little brother, his mom and dad. His little brother likes to run around the house naked sometimes. I can't help but notice his grandpa always looks up when he does.

Me telling my parents I'm depressed: my parents, "No, you're just a little stressed and want attention, am I right?" My depression worsening, me: "Yeah, you're totally right mom..." Me in my head making a plan to commit suicide.....

Dad: "Son, does mommy like having lady-friends over?"

Son: "Nah, mostly men."

Dad: "Do you think you'd be comfortable telling that to a judge in court?"

I thought of having a threesome, but then I realized that if I wanted to disappoint two people at one time I might as well have dinner with my parents.