So put your best face on everybody, pretend you know this song everybody- *pulls out noose* 'COME HANG'... *pulls out gun* Let's go out with a bang... Bang- *gunshot*
Everybody was kung flu dying It travelled as fast as lightning 2020 was expert timing In fact it was a little bit frightening
me, smashes mouse after losing a match, everybody at the pet race: :O
I was speaking at my grandpa's funeral and I told everybody his last words: "You still holding the latter?"
Everybody is mad cause that guy from Alberta punched a girl in a wheelchair. I think he was upset because he found out his sister was cheating on him.
When the school shooter says "Everybody get down!" and the autistic kid thinks it's Simon Says: 🙋♂️🙋♂️🙋♂️
it's not that i dont get the laugh but most of you need to read thru what's already been posted cause everybody's saying the same shit.
Me having a good day. Going on a walk on a peaceful day.
My depression: hey, what's up!
Me: go away.
My depression: well how rude.
Me: 🙄.
My depression: remember that one time......
Me: no, don't even.
My depression: that we.....
Me: nope.
My depression: *says really fast*: said that one stupid joke that wasn't funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilled water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like you do every single night.
Me: 😳😶😟.
My depression: 😉 don't worry I'll always be here for you.
Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
Because everybody that can run, jump, and swim is already in the U.S.
Everybody misses Xxxtentacion, but the bullet didn't...
There was a family, the father's name was Mad, the mother is brain, the brother's name is nobody and the sister's name is everybody. One day, nobody killed everybody and the father ran to the police's office and screamed, ''NOBODY KILLED EVERYBODY!!!!!'' ''Sir, are you okay?'' The police asked. ''I said, NOBODY KILLED EVERYBODYYYYY!!!!!'' The father yelled even louder. ''Are you mad?'' The police asked. ''Yes because my name is Mad!'' The father exclaimed. ''Where's your brain?'' Asked the police. ''At home because my wife name is Brain.'' The father said. The police fell down due to the confusion.
part 2 : he walks up to a stake and nails himself there. then he finds the knife and says someone to find a cake to celebrate his death. but everybody came. that was the sign that nobody loved him and thats how you know if people love you
peoples music when friends are around : *rock*
when the are gone: "Come on vamonos, everybody let's go"
Me playing a game........ what did God just stop our hearts cause didn't kill everybody
Want to know something good about people giving ZERO fucks about you, and living in the country? Everybody knows nothing.
What’s the similarity between a bag of chips and a gun?
When you pull one out in class, everybody wants to be your friend.
y does everybody like the sun-cause its hot
Man is out west driving and on the edge of town comes across a tourist stand and sitting in front is with an Indian chief right out of central casting. Dour look, full headdress, a glass jar and a sign that says "Indian chief know all! $5". So the fellow's curiosity gets the better of him and he goes up to the chief, puts $5 in the jar and asks "What did I have for breakfast on this day 10 years ago?". Chief taps his chin for a moment and says "Hmmm eggs. You had eggs!". "Eggs?" shouts the guy "Everybody has eggs! I've been had!" throws his hands in the air and leaves in a huff.
Ten years on, as fate would have it the fellow has occasion to be driving through the same town and sure enough he comes across the same stand, Indian chief, sign and jar. So he stops the car and saunters across the road, goes up to the chief like a smart-ass, holds up his hand and says "How". Chief taps his chin for a moment and says "Poached".
Yo mama so ugly, she made everybody's face fell off.
Man Everybody Birthday Is This Year🤦🏽♂️
