What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
Bone-appetit!
What do skeletons hate the most about wind?
Nothing, it goes right through them.
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns.
What do you call a pessimistic Mexican?
A Mexican't.
How do you tell when a blonde just lost her virginity?
Her crayons are still wet.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.
What do you call a stupid turtle?
Retorted.
How do you start an Ethiopian rave?
Stick toast to the ceiling.
What do you do after you eat the softest pussy in the world?
Put the diapers back on.
If Stephen Hawking has a heart attack, do you take him to Halfords or A&E?
How do you make 7 an even number? Take the "s" out!
When deaf people fight, they let their fists do the talking.
What do you call the place where an octopus is sitting?
Octopied.
I don't always roll a joint, but when I do, it's my ankle.
How do you cut ancient Rome in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
What do you call it when Batman skips church?
Christian Bale.
What do you call an alligator with a vest?
An investigator.
What is Beethoven doing now?
Decomposing.
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
How do you get bubblegum out of your hair?
Cancer.
