DoS jokes
What do you get when you mix an apple with water... applesauce. Wait, do not leave yet. If you are still reading this, you have been rekt, ha ha. At least I am still laughing.
Why do cats like to sing? They're very mewsical!
What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth?
A "glad-he-ate-her".
What do you call a three-humped camel?
Pregnant.
Q: Where do you find a quadriplegic?
A: Right where you left 'em.
Why do mountains go to sleep a lot?
Because they are high.
What do you call a sociopath who damages a box of Wheaties? A cereal criminal!
What do you call a retard in a house fire?
Flame Retardant.
What do you call a Mexican with no car?
Carlos.
What do you call people that make retarded jokes?
You.
What do you call a couple Mexicans getting stoned in a bush? Buches baked breans.
What do you call a fish without an eye? Fsh.
This gay guy was so happy with his new boyfriend that he took him to his favorite gay bar.
An hour or so goes by, then the new flame says, "I just LOVE this place, everyone is so nice, food is great, but what's up with the monkey way down there?"
His friend says "OK, watch this." He goes up behind the chimp and smacked him in back of its head. The monkey jumped off the stool, pulls down his zipper, and gives him head. When finished, the chimp took a napkin, cleaned himself, pulled up his zipper, then jumped back to his chair.
He walked back to his new gay friend and said, "What do you think of that?"
"MAN, I seen some amazing things, but never like that!" His squeeze said, "Wanna give it a try?"
"I sure do, JUST DON'T hit me as hard as you hit that monkey."
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fish with no eyes.
What do you call a skeleton with no friends? Bonely.
What do you call a woman who says she can do anything a man can do?
Wrong.
*on a date*
me - "I get to work with animals all day."
her - "How sweet! What do you do?"
me - "I'm a butcher."
What do you call a Mexican that dives into a pool? Bean dip.
Two skeleton brothers are talking.
1st bro: "Hey, get up! You and do some exercise! You are so heavy, you weigh a ton!"
2nd bro: "A skele-TON :)"
How do you fit 15 babies into a shoe box?
A blender.
How do you get them out of the shoe box? A straw.