DoS jokes
What do you call a person with no arms or legs at your front door? Mat.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.
What do a pedophile and a clock have in common? Neither of them go past 12.
What can a mouse do?
He clicks.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand-up.
Why did the squirrel do the backstroke?
He wanted to keep his nuts dry.
How do you stay warm in a cold room?
You go to the corners. It's always 90 degrees.
When you see a deer, what do you say?
"Oh deer!"
What do you do when life gives you lemons? Slit your wrist and give a lemon a twist. 🙂💊💉
What do you call a person with Down syndrome who graduated high school?
Impossible!
A friend was doing bird puns on me. Then I realized that toucan play at that game.
How do Asians name their kids? They drop spoons and forks down the stairs. Chin Chan Chon.
What do you call a redneck sister who runs faster than her brothers?
A virgin.
What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip off.
How do you make a dead baby float?
1 cup rootbeer 2 scoops dead baby.
Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
Because they don't want to be mistaken as feminists.
What do you call a pizza?
Anthony Cahill's face!
Allan: What are you doing Saturday night?
Museum girl: Committing suicide.
Allan: What about Friday night?
What do you call a pool full of white people?
Kix.
What do you call a load of retards in a swimming pool?
Vegetable soup.