What do you call a cow who plays an instrument? -- A moosician.
Where do rabbits eat breakfast?
IHOP.
What do you call a cross between a gorilla and a monkey? -- A cross.
Where do you learn to make ice cream? -- Sundae school.
When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? -- When there's a sail on it.
How do you count cows? -- With a cowculator.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? -- A stick.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.
What do vegetarian zombies eat?
Graaaaiins.
How do trees get online? -- They just log in.
What do you call a nose without a body? -- Nobody knows.
How do Mexicans feel about Trump's wall? -- They'll get over it.
What do Japanese men do when they vote?
They have an erection.
What do you call a walkie-talkie for retards? -- A stumblie-mumblie.
What is Mozart doing right now? -- Decomposing.
What do you call 2 octopuses that look exactly the same? -- Identical.
My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with pasta. -- I'm doing well, but I do get cannelloni.
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? -- Because they lactose.
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.
What kind of dog can do magic tricks?
A labracadabrador.
