DoS jokes
What do a "transgender" woman's favorite song and his/her last online order have in common?
~they're both a dick in a box.
How do you get a squirrel down from a tree?
You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.
What do you call two Mexicans in a sleeping bag?
A Twix.
A young boy enters a barber shop, and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.
"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"
The boy licked his cone and replied:
"Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!"
You do not spell "computer" like this; you spell it like this: "cumputer."
One day Johnae said, "What do you call a family outing?"
"Incest."
Low key Johnae fucks Kirby and Peach.
What do you call a kid watching Star Wars by themselves?
Hans Solo.
What do you call a crazy computer?
Wired.
When my dog starts to bark, he starts to get ruff.
What do you say to a fat Asian?
You got more chins than a Chinese phone book.
What do you call milk that gets everything she wants?
Spoiled milk.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lickalotofpuss.
A man and a boy are walking into a forest. It begins to get dark. The boy says "Mister, I'm scared." The man replies "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone."
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't coming.
A man wakes up from his operation, and the doctor says, "I have bad news and good news, what do you want to hear first?"
The man says, "Bad," so the doctor says, "During the surgery, your girlfriend decided to leave a message that she’s leaving you for another man."
The man says, "What’s the good then?" And the doctor says, "I’m picking her up at 7."
Do you know Helen Keller?
Yes.
Did you know she had a dog?...... Neither did she!
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put him in the microwave until his bill Withers.
What do you call a Down syndrome kid who has been physically abused by older teenagers and her parents for a total of 16 years and has red marks all over their body?
Not funny because Down syndrome jokes aren't funny ;)
What do you call J Cow's new hit? Deja Moo!
How do you make antifreeze?
You steal her blanket.