DoS jokes
Pedophile: You dropped your candy.
Girl: Thanks!
Pedophile stares as she slowly bends over to pick up her candy.
Pedophile: It looks a bit dirty, do you wanna come back to my house and get a new one?
Girl: How far is your house?
Pedophile: It's that white one right over there.
Girl: You mean that van next to a dumpster?
Pedophile: Yep, it's that one.
Girl:.... Sure! :P
Audience:.........Dumbass girl.
What do lady dogs (bitches) wear to work?
Pant suits.
What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
What do you call a bulldog and a shih tzu? A bullshit.
What do you call 8 x 3.14?
Octopi.
What's harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree?
My dick while I'm doing it.
What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?
Beef strokin' off.
Where do you get 30% of your agua? From AGUAfers.
When Chuck Norris was asked, "Do you know the way?" he replied, "I am the way!"
What do lawyers wear to court?
Lawsuits.
What do Chinese parents hate the most?
A newborn daughter...
Why do basketball players like cookies? Because they can dunk them!
What do you call a Mexican that hung him self? a pinata
If Stephen Hawking had a heart attack, do you take him to PC World or A&E?
What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
Answer: Depresso.
What do you call a mammal that has no hair?
Cancer.
What do you call a gay friend?
Miguel Del Rosario Domingo.
A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church, and the priest says, "What about the children?" The rabbi says, "Fuck the children." And the priest says, "Do you think we'll have time?"
What do you call a rich Chinese guy?
"Ching ching."
What do you call a girl with only one arm and leg?
Eileen.