DoS jokes
A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother, but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says, “Well, all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket.” So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says, “Dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? "Tie won shu."
What do you call a drivable Hamburger?
What?
A Hamborgini.
What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass.
What do you call a kid having a seizure on a dance floor? An improvement.
How do you get 100 babies in the back of a pick up truck? Blender.
How do you get them back out? Straw.
What do French ducks say?
Quoi quoi.
How do kill a redneck?
Wait until he is fucking his sister and take the brakes off his house.
Where do you take Stephen Hawking: to the hospital, or PC World?
What do you call a fish with no eye?
A ffsshh.
What do they call me when I jack off?
Pulled pork.
What do you call a pig that pulled a leg? Pulled pork.
When Stephen Hawking is ill 🤮, do you take him to Curry's PC World or the doctors? 😂😂😂😂
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot wheels.
How do you spell racecar backwards?
racecar
How do you spell racecar sideways?
Paul Walker's death.
What do you say to a pig with no nose? You have n'ought a snout!
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
An irrel-elephant ;)
I was talking to this absolutely gorgeous woman, and I asked her, “What do you do?” And she said, “I’m a brain surgeon.” And I don’t know if this makes me sexist or not, but I was really impressed.
Most women can’t pull off sarcasm.
I've been looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer for the past two years.
But no one would do it.
So, Duracell batteries do run out.