DoS jokes
What do you get when you put a baby in a box of razor blades and throw it down the stairs?
An erection!
what do you call a retard smoking weed?
a baked potato.
What do you call a grey, fat, and very old unicorn?
A rhino.
How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? Matt.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? Bob.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.
How do you close a cabinet?
You closet! Hahahhyaahhahaaahhahaha!
What does a nosey paper do?
It gets "Jalapeño" your face!
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn't have the guts to do it.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn't have the guts to do it.
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
You give them a Sandy Hook.
What do you call a goat?
A goat.
What do you call a mariachi band sinking in Mayonnaise?
Cinco De Mayo.
What do inner city schools and databases have in common?
Their problems are usually caused by a race condition.
What do Jim Kelly and Dick Cheney have in common?
They both make terrible hunters.
If you overdose on Viagra, do you die... hard?
What were Brian Cant's last words before he died?
"I used to do it, but now I cant!"
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he isn't coming to you.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Esteban.
Esteban who?
If you do not open the door, Esteban you!
Two hunters were walking through the forest one day. All of the sudden, one of them passes out. The other hunter panics and dials 911. The emergency responder says, “911, what's your emergency?” The hunter replies, “My friend just passed out and I don’t know what to do! I think he might be dead!” The emergency responder replies, “Before you do anything, make sure he is dead.” The phone goes silent, and then the responder hears a gunshot. The hunter gets back on the phone and says, “Ok, now what?”
Why do Pirates say "Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"?
First time out at sea, they prepare for battle and say to their commander:
"The canons be ready, Captain!"
"Are," says the Captain (correcting their grammar).
"Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!" they all exclaimed!