DoS

DoS jokes

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Two fish were in a tank. One turned to the other and asked: "Hey, how do you drive this thing?"

How do you make a cat go "woof"?

... douse it in gasoline and set it on fire! "woof!"

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    • There's an old lady doing gardening every year. Nothing grows. She goes to the man who lives next door. She says, "How do you get your tomatoes so big and red?" He tells her, "You show them your privates at night time." So she leaves. That night later, she goes outside and shows the garden her privates. The next day she's got zucchinis a meter long!

    Look at your left hand, now look at your right hand, and tell yourself, "Which hand do you cheat with?"

    Wanking.

    Q: Why do Norwegian ships have bar codes on them?

    A: So when they come into port they can Scan-Da-Navy-In!

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    • Monkey: What ya doing?

    Other monkey: Just you know, "hanging around."

    Bad joke, right? I just can't think of something amazing. It's like my brain is "hanging."

    A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat. He is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with, "What do you mean? I already did it." Then the police ran back to the school to apprehend the other people he was planning it with. The cops busted in through the doors, which caused a smoke trap to go off, which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear, the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles, 4 per pole. Back at the station, holding the kid being apprehended, the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said, "Aww, it pays to be lazy!"

    What do you say when you see an apple dancing in a talent show?

    He's got some "sweet" moves!