DoS jokes
Two old Indian ladies out picking potatoes, one lady stops, staring at this huge potato, turning it round and round.
The other old lady says to her, "What are you doing?" She says, "These potatoes remind me of my husband's nuts."
She says, "Oh my, are they really that big?" She said, "No, they're that dirty. lololol"
I know a girl in a wheelchair. I realize now why she couldn’t do sports because the coaches wanted 100% from her, but she was only able to give 50%.
Things you never want to do in jail:
- Never piss off an inmate. - Don’t start fights with the cops. - Don’t drop the soap. - Don’t run away from the cops.
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up as an altar boy.
What do you call a person without a nose and who doesn't know much?
Nose-less.
So an orphan was crying in a corner in the dark. Then a man came over and asked, "Why are you crying?"
Then said, "Do you want me to get your parents?"
Why do men have penises?
They gotta shut women up somehow.
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
Q: What do you call a skeleton that goes to school but doesn't do any work?
A: Lazy bones.
How do you drown a blonde? You tape a mirror to the bottom of a 13-foot deep pool.
What do you call a smart egg? An egghead.
That was an egg-cellent joke!
What shoes do pedophiles wear? White vans.
How do pedophiles fit in? They force it to go in.
How do you make a 16 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile comes in.
What did Santa say when he was passing over some hookers? "Ho ho ho!"
What do you call a mosquito in your language?
We don't call them, they just come and bite.
So, the sea is on a computer but doesn't know how to search, so the computer said to the sea, "Search!"
Do you get it? SEArch.
What do you call an octopus with a hat?
An octopus with a hat, of course.
How do you get a clown off your swing?
You shoot it.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels! We'll see him soon.
What do you call someone with a small dick... whoever is reading this 😉
Who do Chinese people name their kids?
Throw the forks and knives down the stairs.
What do you call an obese man with bipolar? Twins.