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So an orphan was crying in a corner in the dark. Then a man came over and asked, "Why are you crying?"

Then said, "Do you want me to get your parents?"

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    • What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.

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    • How do you drown a blonde? You tape a mirror to the bottom of a 13-foot deep pool.

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    • What shoes do pedophiles wear? White vans.

    How do pedophiles fit in? They force it to go in.

    How do you make a 16 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile comes in.

    What did Santa say when he was passing over some hookers? "Ho ho ho!"

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    • What do you call a mosquito in your language?

    We don't call them, they just come and bite.

    So, the sea is on a computer but doesn't know how to search, so the computer said to the sea, "Search!"

    Do you get it? SEArch.

    What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?

    Hot Wheels! We'll see him soon.

    Who do Chinese people name their kids?

    Throw the forks and knives down the stairs.

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    • What do you call someone who wants to commit suicide by jumping off a building?

    A cliffhanger.

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    • A bicurious man goes to a gay bar.

    A gay man offers him a drink.

    The bi man explains he doesn't know if he's gay or not.

    "That's fine," he says, "let's just have a drink."

    The gay man asks him for a dance, and he explains again he isn't sure if he's gay or not.

    Eventually, the gay man invites him to go home with him to hang out as friends.

    They get to his house, and the gay man says, "Do you fancy having sex?"

    He isn't sure, so the gay man explains, "I'll push in slow, and at any point you want to stop, make animal sounds, and if you like it, start singing."

    So they get to it, and the gay man pushes in slowly, the bi man bursts out "MOOOOO MOOOOO MOOOOOOVVVEE CCLOSSEEERRRR"

    Do you know what the similarity between a penis and cucumber is?

    They both have cum in it.

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