DoS jokes
What did the cow say to the cheese? I am your father.
What do you call a cow that's laying down? Ground Beef.
How do you start a dance party?
Go into the PTSD ward of an insane asylum and set off fireworks and watch the magic unfold.
What do windows have in common with my wife's legs? They're easy to open.
What did the cops do when 600 hares escaped the zoo?
The cops had to comb the area.
Where do alien cows come from?
- The Milky Way.
Where do Down syndrome kids go shopping downtown?
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
What does a grape do if a rhino is about to squash it?
Nothing, it just lets out a little wine.
Q: Why do Skeletons hate the cold?
A: It sends chills up their spine.
What's the difference between a five-year-old and a Democrat?
The five-year-old doesn't expect you to do everything for them.
(Vote for Ted Cruz, Ben Shapiro 2020)
Q. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A. A gummy bear.
Do you like me? Joke... Well come on!
BOOMSHACKALATA!
Director: Hi, we are making a huge cliffhanger in this movie.
Actor: Really? What do I do?
Director: You will play the part of the cliff. (holds up hanging rope)
Why do midgets need a lot of books at school?
So they can reach the top of the desk.
What do you call a skeleton in the snow? A numb skull.
What do you call a smart blonde?
Nonexistent.
Q: What do you call white people on a black bus?
A: Oreo
How do clarinet players play a song?
They reed their music.
Father: "The church is on fire! GET OUT! GET OUT!"
Priest: "Ok, what about the children?"
Father: "FUCK THE CHILDREN!"
Priest: "Do you think we'll have time?"
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one liners?
He can't do stand-ups.