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I bought a gun from Walmart today. I guess they knew what I was going to do with it, because when I pulled the gun on the cashier, I realized the firing mechanism was in reverse.

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    • I'm a teacher at a high school, but I got fired. They told me I didn't do any work even though I always did a skele-ton.

    "I hate going to weddings, because the old lady next to you always whispers in your ear, 'You're next.' So I started doing the same to them at funerals, 'You're next.'"

    Daughter: "Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion?" Father: "Ask your sister." Daughter: "I don't have a..."

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    • 7 little children gathered around the bed Bill Cosby's fantasy.

    All he wants to do is tickle the kids, it's as plain as can be.

    7 cellmates gathered around the bed ready to rape Bill Cosby instead.

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    • Do nothing about people falling down the stairs, it will keep happening.

    Put razor blades on the stairs, it will be their last time falling down the stairs.

    What do you call a person with one arm, one leg, one eye, and one ear?

    ONESY.

    “Hey dad, how do you kill a star?” - Give them drugs.

    A kid asks his mom, "Mom, how much do you love me?" The mother responds with, "I love you as much as I love your brother." The kid looks confused and says, "But I don't have a brother." The mother smiles and says, "Well, I guess my love is not existing."

    When it is quiet when you're having sex and you ask your partner to "Do the roar!"

    A Down syndrome kid asks for an ice cream. The man asks, "Do you want sauce on it?"

    The kid says, "It doesn’t matter, I’m going to drop it anyway!" 😂😂😂

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