What do you call a flying skunk?
A smelicopter.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a dinosaur?
Jurassic Park.
What do you do with a dead scientist?
You barium.
Girlfriend: Am I pretty or ugly?
Boyfriend: You're both!
Girlfriend: What do you mean by that?
Boyfriend: You're pretty ugly!!!
What do you call a cow? A cow!
went on a date last night and told my date I worked with animals every day.
She said, "Oh, how sweet. What do you do?" I said, "I'm a butcher."
A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?"
"Yes," replies the murderer, "Can you please hold my hand?"
My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one. She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"
Me walking in to the office:
Principal: Tell me, what did you do?
Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...
What did the mincrater do when his Xbox turns off He raged😱
So you know "The Lion King."
Do you remember Simba?
Well, his dad is really strong, and he walks really fast, but Simba walks really slow.
So I told him to Mufasa.
What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?
Reload... chhchhhh.
What do you do during a shooting? Why, join in, of course...
How do you make a juggler laugh? YOU TICKLE HIS BALLS
What do you call a lazy piece of meat?
A meatloaf.
What do you call an iPhone put into a smoothie maker?--An Apple smoothie.
How do you call on a mail man who is carrying rotten fruit?
Come post!
What do you say to a 1 legged hitch hiker? Hop in!
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day, and the teacher was talking about life. The teacher asked him, "Little Johnny, how do you want your wife to be like?" Little Johnny answered, "Like the moon." The teacher said, "That's such a beautiful answer because it's calm and peaceful." Little Johnny replied, "No, because it appears at night and disappears in the morning."
I wrote a passage to stop about bullying, and it was easy. Do you know why?
Because I am a bully!
