DoS jokes
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Two gay guys, two lesbians, and two pedophiles have a race.
What is the order of finish?
1. Lesbians. Doing 69 the whole way.
2. Pedophiles. Coming in a little behind.
3. Gay guys. Still packing their shit.
What do you call an expert fisherman?
A "MASTER-BAITER".
How do cows say "oof?"
They say, "MOOf."
Me and my little brother were playing Call Of Duty. He wasn't doing very good, so I told him so. My brother said to me, "At least I don't have to camp in order to get kills." I then responded with, "I would call you cancer, but at least cancer kills."
What do you call an Asian kid that is bad at math?
An orphan.
I'll always remember my dad's last words... "Why do you have an axe? We live in the city!"
What do royals and hot dogs have in common?
They're usually in bread.
What do you call a 60 year old with a bomb?
Suicide Boomer.
Sir William Herschel discovered Uranus in 1781, 200 years before you were born. How did he do that?
What do you get when you go to the beach and you get a tan on your feet?
Tan toes.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
What do you do when you see a sad orphan?
Nothing, let them wait for their parents.
Little Timmy walked in on his parents having sex. His parents look at him in fear. Little Timmy asks, "Mom, Dad, what are you doing?"
The mom replies with, "We are playing house. We'll let you play when you're older," the dad says. So the next day Timmy goes over to play with his friend Johnny, who was, ironically, Timmy's neighbor. Johnny asks, "How was your sleep last night?" "I saw my mom and dad playing house last night," Timmy says. "But they told me I could play with them when I'm older."
After a little bit of playing with Johnny, Timmy went home and saw his Dad playing house with his babysitter. "Dad, what are you doing?" Timmy asks. "I'm playing house with your babysitter," Timmy's Dad said. "But I saw you play house with Mom last night," Timmy told his father. "Well, don't tell your mother," his dad said.
Real quick, I'm autistic, and if anyone asks, I absolutely love some of these jokes. XD I found this while doing some research for a paper.
What is the best power that man can do? They can move the mountain with their tongue.
Why do disabled people always get picked on?
Because they can’t stand up for themselves.
Roses are red, Your blood is too. You look like a monkey and belong in a zoo.
Do not worry, I will be there too, Not in a cage but laughing at you!
The date is April 1st.
Somebody asks you what you are doing.
“I guess you could say I’m... fooling around ( ✧≖ ͜ʖ≖)“