DoS jokes
How do you fit a whale inside a car? A blender.
Why do dwarfs laugh when they run a race? Because the grass tickles their balls.
What do you call roller skates you can walk in?
"Wock n' roll."
What do astronauts 👩🚀 do when they’re on break?
They eat launch. 🚀🥪
What do you call a hippopotamus that stands out from the crowd?
A hipster!
McDonald's worker: Order, order!
Customer: I didn't do anything wrong!
Why do orphans go to church on family day? cuz they get to spend time with their father.
Why do orphans go to church?
To call someone "dad."
What do you call a rude cow?
Beef jerky.
Just to get things straight, I'm NOT, I repeat, NOT racist, but this joke goes out to all the people who talk about other people with darker skin than the other person.
Bully: Your skin is so black and ugly (for the 5th time).
Me: I'm so happy you love my skin color!
Bully: Ew, no I don't!
Me: Then why do you keep talking about it?
Why do they call them apartments when they are together?
What do squirrels and men have in common?
They always want a nut.
What do you call a person with a hole in their shoe?
A Christian.
My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"
I said, "Paper."
She said, "Really?"
I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"
How do you make a plumber cry?
Break his pipes...
What movie do orphans hate most?
"Home Alone."
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?
Because he can’t do stand up.
What do a blackjack dealer and my uncle have in common?
They both hit me face down on the table.
Mother: We need to talk about sex...
Jason: Oh, sex, tell me what do you wanna know.
Jason had a big whooping from his mother and big spanking from his dad.
Mother: Who do you like more, me or your dad?
Liam: I like you both.
Mother: Ok, if I go to america and your dad goes to paris, where will you go?
Liam: I will go to paris.
Mother: That's means you like dad more.
Liam: No, its because i like paris.
Mother: Ok, fine, if I go to paris and your dad goes to america, where will you go?
Liam: I will go to America.
Mother: Why?
Liam: Because I have already gone to paris.