DoS jokes
What do orphans do when they get a phone? They press the home button.
What do you say when you sister's annoying you?
Go oasis (go away sis)!
Q. What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A. Same middle name! 😂
What do tomatoes 🍅 do when they meet?
They ketchup.
So, I was sitting with my little brother and talking about our dreams. "What do you wanna be when you grow up?" I asked him. He answered, "A doctor!" I wanted to tease him so I said, "I wouldn't be treated by a doctor like you." I was hoping he would get mad or something, but instead, he calmly replied, "Brother, I said doctor. Not a vet."
how do you fit 4 gay guys on a stool?
you flip it over.
Where do cows go for entertainment?
The MOOOOvie theater.
Where do keyboards go to have dinner?
The space bar!!!
Do not tell an orphan family meeting; they wouldn't get it.
Iron Man: Where are you from?
Thor: Asgard.
Iron Man: Do you mean ass guard?
Why is it that when I'm in school doing PE, it's fine for someone to say "boys against girls", but the moment I say "blacks against whites" I'm the bad guy?
What do you call an owl with armor?
A Knight Owl!
What do you get when you cross a bunny and a Honda? Just the Honda.
What do turtles use to communicate?
A shellphone!
Friend 1: What's your favorite drink or food?
Friend 2: Pizza.
Friend 3: Donuts.
Friend 4: I don't eat food but I do drink bleach.
Friend 1: (calling the suicide hotline)
Friend 2: (Calling the parents)
What time do butts get up? At the crack of dawn!!!
Do you want to hear a joke?
Never mind, it’s too punny.
What do condoms and whores have in common?
Answer: There is a lot that comes in every box.
What do magicians and prostitutes have in common?
Answer: disappearing acts.
How do you get chewing gum out of a child's hair? Cancer.