DoS jokes
Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted me and my dad and walk home from home and walk home and walk walk home.
Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted. Me and my dad were going out and walk home and walk walk home from school and walk home from home and walk home and walk walk home, and I will get back with him tomorrow morning.
Where do sex addicts go when they need to talk? Hoe-and-Tell.
Do you like Wendy's when these nuts hit your face?
What do you call a sad strawberry?
A blueberry.
Why do orphans use iPhone X's?
Because they can't find home.
Why do people have sex?
Because they like going "Ahhhhhhhhhhh fuck me, bitch, I love you!"
What do you call a bee that lives in America? A USB.
What do you think of your mom? I have to go now and tyyyytt.
What do you call that useless piece of skin that goes all the way around a pussy?
A woman!
What did the Los Angeles Police do when George Floyd said that he could not breathe? They gave George Floyd two squirts of Zicam cold remedy inside his nose.
Why are mountains 🏔 so funny? Because they’re hill areas, do you get it? They are hill areas, like a mountain is a hill area. It sounds like hilarious, so you get it.
What do you call a night guard at the glory hole inside a adult bookstore?
Guardian of the confessional booth.
What do you call cheese that's not yours?
Nacho cheese!
What do you call a toothless bear?
A gummy bear.
What do you call two Michael J. Fox's standing next to each other?
Parallel Parkinson's.
What do dogs eat? Dog food.
What do squirrels eat?
Nuts. 🥜
Hi, how are you doing?
(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes.)
What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
I was going to tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.
Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They’re painful to look at.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.