DoS jokes
What do you call a fake noodle? Impasta.
Why do pirates pirate? Because they "Arrrrrrrrrgggghhh!" Hahahahahahahahaha!
How do Chinese people name their kids?
They throw them down the stairs and see what noise they make! WA WA WAAAAAAAAAAAA!
What's the one thing that you don't have but celebrities do?
Lots of fans.
Why are there no guns in China? They might do some "ting wong!"
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
They have no mother's or father's day.
My girlfriend's dog died, so I got her a new one in replacement, and she went off on me and yelled,
"What am I supposed to do with 2 dead dogs in my house?!"
What do Evil Knievel and Michael Jackson have in common? Both have skidmarks on their helmets.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
There was a magician on board the Titanic and said that he could make anything disappear.
Once the ship had gone down one of the passengers said to him, "Go on, so what did you do with the ship then?"
What does a nosey pepper do?
It gets jalapeΓ±o business!
What do you call a group of Emos?
Suicide squad.
What do you call a gay barbecue?
LGTBBQ.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
No one shuts up about them.
People tell me to be nice to orphans, so I say, "What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"
Why do tryhards use Fennecs? It looks better than the Octane.
What do you call six gay men in a war? Rainbow Six Siege.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He had no balls to do it.
What do you do when you see a spaceman?
Park in it, man!
What do humans and monkeys have in common? They both hang from trees.