DoS jokes
Why do orphans love dogs?
Because dogs stay with them.
Why do orphans want to be criminals? Because they want to feel what it’s like to be wanted.
My bestie: Are you dirty-minded?
Me: Do I have dirt in my mind? No.
What does a man with 20 children do now?
Now he eats sausages even with cellophane.
What do you call a deer who is funny?
Diraleous.
People have houses, but I don't have a house because I don't have parents, said the orphan.
Why do orphans have water in cereal?
Because mom was never around to produce milk.
Boy: The principal is so dumb!
Girl: Do you know who I am?
Boy: No...
Girl: I am the principal's daughter!
Boy: Do you know who I am?
Girl: No...
Boy: Good! *Walks away*
Why do ghosts go to bars?
For the boos!
How do you say "Brazier" in German?
Stop 'em from floppin' (German accent)
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Because dad never came home with the milk.
If there was a girl and a boy and the boy fell, what did the boy do to the girl?
He fell for her.
Man: I'm here for the job interview.
Employer: Oh good, good. Sit down. We don't get many people for the interviews.
Man: Just anywhere?
Employer: Yeah, make yourself comfortable. Jackson, right?
Man: Yeah, that's me.
(Shakes hands and sits back down)
Employer: So what makes you eligible for the job, Jackson?
Man: Well, I'm really good at capturing the perfect shot and angle. It really takes dedication to do this type of job. Concentration and willpower, sir.
Employer: I like you already, you're hired!
Man: Wow, thanks, sir. I know I won't do you wrong. I'll work hard for this job!
Employer: You start now! Your first person is a man named John F Kennedy.
Man: What? You want me to just take pictures of him during the parade?
Employer: No.
Man: This... This is a photography job, right?
Employer: No... this is a job employment for man hunting.
Why do orphans live on the street?
They don't have parents to put a roof over their head.
How do you make people mad? You use the wrong category. It makes them go red.
Listen, Man United might not thank me but get the contract out, put it on the table. Let him sign it, let him write whatever numbers he wants to put on there, given what he's done since he's come in. Ole's at the wheel, man. He's doing it. He's doing his thing. Man United are BACK.
Yo mama, why do you have to jump in the pool as soon as I can find the water on Mario? I mean, Mario jump to Mars!
An emo kid walked to me holding a rope, and asked: "Do you want to join my family tree?"
What kind of flower do orphans use? Self-raising.
I went to a depressed person and said, "Do you wanna hang with me?"