DoS jokes
Why do orphans watch "The Nightmare Before Christmas"?
Answer: Oogie Boogie is ugly, so they want to be ugly.
Why do orphans live in an orphanage?
Answer: Because they are wanted there.
"You have to do this," and my sister said, "Well, I don't care."
And I said, "Well, you care enough to respond back, oh my gosh!"
Therapist: What do you want to do when you grow up?
Me: Oh, I wan-
Therapist: Don’t say to be dead.
Me: Well, I want to be an entrepreneur. I want to sell land, pencils, oh yeah. I also want to sell farm.
What do you call a blank piece of paper?
Women's rights.
A pecan is motivated because pe-can do anything.
Do you like my a-corn-y jokes?
You pecan do it!
How do you catch an elephant?
Act like a peanut.
What do you call super expensive shoes?
Cashews.
What do you call an angry nut with a mustache?
A pistachio.
What did the mama nut say to her son?
“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”
What do you call a nut who loves the game of chess?
A chess-nut.
What do you call a nut stuck to a wall?
A walnut.
What do you call a nut with a hairy upper lip?
A mustach-io!
The bell rings, and Ana was about to leave, but the teacher said, "The bell doesn't dismiss you, I do."
The next day, Ana was late, and the teacher asked, "Why are you late?" Ana replied with, "The bell doesn't tell me when I should arrive, I do."
What do you call a group of transgender women? Ex-Men.
What do a pulse and an orgasm have in common?
I don’t care if she has one.
My wife said to me, "You really have no sense of direction, do you?"
I said, "Where the fuck did that come from?!"
If girls are vegan, why do they suck dick?